Almost Done Attention Whoring...

Today's the last day I get to link this week's insideSTL article to the B-Flex. Click that link for seven of my Cardinal-related Valentine's Day gift ideas.

Some good news that you may or may not care about: we're approaching 30,000 hits; under a thousand away as of press time. Thanks to pervs doing Google Image Searches, we've received a shitload of hits lately from people searching for Jessica Biel's derriere. And who could blame them?

Because of that, this month (all 11 days) has been our most successful month of hits. I think that's kind of funny. And fitting.

Thanks for reading.

Also, thanks to RFT's The Rundown for linking the article. Always love their work.

Our Keys to Victory: Work Edition

On every pregame show, the announcers like to talk about their "Keys to Victory" for each team. It pretty much lays out obvious things that each team needs to do in order to win that particular game (example: before the Cardinals/Eagles game Sunday, Troy Aikman said Philly's keys are 1) the defense must step up and 2) Westbrook and McNabb must have big games. Really Troy? The D, RB and QB need to play well? That's unheard of, but since you're on TV, I have no other option but to trust you).

Anyway, whenever you have a shitty day at work, here are my keys to turning your day around and coming out with a victory:

1) Leave work
2) Go to Wendy's
3) Eat Wendy's
4) Pass the fuck out for three hours

Do that. You win.

But be sure to wake up in time to write your InsideSTL columns before deadline. Speaking of, here is this week's article, poking more fun at Crush Drunkan's expense.

Another side note: I'm rapidly becoming a big fan of Wendy's Double Stacks. Like all fast food pics, the photo above is a little generous, but they are damn tasty. It makes up for the price hike on the chicken nuggets (now $1.19).

Wrasslin' Talk

Friend of the site and our personal video guru, Hollywood, launched a new blog recently. It's called The Indy Corner, and it will cover many Independent Wrestling promotions throughout the country.

I'm really digging it, as Hollywood's put a lot of effort into getting a few interviews and posting videos so far. Even if you're not down on WWE and TNA's continuous quest for maximum suckage, check out The Indy Corner when you've got a chance.

theindycorner.blogspot.com

I would imagine if The Indy Corner ever hit a slow news week, Hollywood and I could reminisce about the time we listened to The Ultimate Warrior speak for over an hour at the Pilot House at UMSL, in which he instructed us to "fucking breed like rabbits" towards the end a confusing lecture. Quite a meaningful experience for both of us, though I think we vowed to never talk about that again.

Brian Barber: Imagine You Are Weightless...

I don't post Brian Barber's rookie card enough, but I found a way to work it into today's InsideSTL column. I think a couple of you still care, so check it out when you have a chance.

And while we're at it, here is last week's article about the MLB Network, and two weeks ago about message board meltdowns. Thanks for reading.

Linx/Stuff/Junk & MS Paint Week in Review

This is like a Fruit Rollup of L/S/J greatness. Not only am I going to provide you with some phenomenal links for your Friday, I'll add a couple Paint masterpieces designed by yers truly along the way.

On Monday, TGF wrote out a bunch of questions in his Baseball Digest Daily article, and pretended like he knew all the answers (you've got the card right there in front of you Trebek!). He's either a showoff or a jerk. Well, we're not answering your questions, you showoff jerk!

Tuesday morning, Hack posted the Jones Big ASS Truck Rental & Storage clip. It seems to be popular with the kids, we're getting a bunch of Google hits off of it.

Also on Tuesday I was clued in to the apparent greatness of Restaurant.com. Evidently you can get gift certificates to restaurants in your area (plug in your zip code - there are ones you've actually heard of), at a discounted price. Also, if you enter the promo code SANTA, you get an extra 80% off! For example, you can get a $25 GC to Mike Shannon's for $2. Seriously: $2. The fine print says Valid with a minimum $35 food purchase. 20% gratuity added to pre-discounted check amount, which is workable. This would be a good cheapskate gift for Christmas.

On Wednesday, my InsideSTL article revealed what shitty awards Albert Pu-jolz will be winning this offseason. Within the article I may or may not have inferred that Chris Duncan starred in a porn entitled Dunc in Your Trunk.

Wednesday night I announced that I'll be writing the screenplay to Dunc in Your Trunk. I figure with some upcoming days off, I could finish the script next week. Then Hollywood can come up and film this bad boy in early January. Edit it by the SuperBowl, send to a distributor, and boom - Valentine's Day gift for your loved one. What girl wouldn't want a fake Crush Drunkan porn on the most romantic day of the year? Things like this make me the best at what I do.

In case you missed it, yesterday the big thing going around was Burger King's new flame-broiled meat-scented body spray, Flame. Check it out here. As Sir pointed out a little before press time, this should have been made into a perfume for women, seeing how guys already smell like meat.

And an Abercrombie-wearing k.u.chebag makes his mark on Mizzourah today.

Dats it. Drink up, be merry. Enjoy yourselves!

A Special Linx/Stuff/Junk

Yesterday I realized that I hadn't been putting in the award-winning effort for Bert Flex as I normally do (or at least comparable to this past summer, when I had no life).

And once in a while I can generate some good ideas, so I went to work thinking of what I could offer you for this Friday that would be of any value.

I came up with a new feature, that honestly may only last one week: MS Paint Week in Review. I'll leave it up to the loyal Flexers and our advertisers to see if this should continue into the future. Here goes:

-Monday began MLB's Winter Meetings in Las Vegas. Lil' Kenny Rosenthal got all the best rumors. How does he do it?

-On Tuesday, our own Good Face posted another top notch article on Baseball Digest Daily. I enjoyed the little story about TGF trying to get huuuuge off of Andro. Now he just does it with protein bars and celery sticks.

-All week, I've been having nightmares of Tony La Russa trivia questions haunting me at night. Probably should have hid the box of porn a little better. Or maybe make it not so obvious...

-Wednesday morning, my InsideSTL article laid out my expectations from the Cardinals at the Winter Meetings. Not surprisingly, the Cardinals made no moves. They ended up being in a bunch of SP and RP rumors, but didn't pull the trigger on anything. According to reports, they made a late bid on K-Rod, but fell short. Sure.

-Wednesday night, I "fell short" of eating a salad and green beans for dinner, but went with Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets instead.

-Thursday night, the ML posted a douchebag report on the ShamWow guy. He's really a tool, and I'm glad the Librarian brought the heat.

-And as always, Mizzourah has some k.u.chebags and a variety of other stuff for your perusal on this lovely Friday. Enjoy the weekend.

Linx/Stuff/Junk

It's another light week for LSJ, mainly due to my busy blogger lifestyle. It's not my fault I'm in such high demand.

-This week's InsideSTL article, where I list out my generous Hall of Fame ballot. There is a legendary David Cone fart story in there that I ought to tell more often. And Big Head has gone one week without making a Josh Hancock joke, so bully for him.

-Mizzourah is still in some pain from the kU loss, but that won't get in the way of making fun of k.u.chebags again, or looking forward to the Big XII title game (Saturday at 7 on ABC).

-And in case you didn't catch this tidbit in the MsChif interview, we'll be at a wrasslin' show tonight in C-Ville. We'll give you a recap of the festivities tomorrow. Afterwards we'll probably stop by Applebee's and I'll try to shoot myself in the leg.

Linx/Stuff/Junk

LSJ decided to take a couple extra days off, but it's cool baby - we here.

Our big four day weekend is almost over, so we decided a light week of linx should be in order. Get off the computer and enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

-This week's insideSTL article recaps Crush Drunkan's Skanksgiving plans. Fuckin' gametime. (Unfortunately I didn't put the word "SATIRE" in blinking lights for one of the commenters. I do appreciate them reading the article and I'll take the Drew Magary comp as a compliment though.)

And in case you missed this part of the Thanksgiving Day parade on NBC (which you should have slept through), play the video below:

Linx/Stuff/Junk

Missa Bauwaaaaahh is back. If you're cool, you'll come to the big viewing party at BFHQ Sunday night. It wouldn't surprise me if Jack Bauer saving little kids in Africa gets boring, but we're all willing to give 24 a chance again. The backup plan will be watching Sir play DDR with his feets o' fury. Be there!

Hey, here's a hot cup of linx for your Friday pleasure:

-This week on insideSTL I gank an idea from Big Head's think tank (that sounds - and is - dirty) by listing out MLB's Free Agents as desserts.

-The Tigers will be wearing gold uni's for the kU game. Also, there are two - count 'em TWO - k.u.chebags posts this week.

-Two more posts from The Good Face over on Baseball Digest Daily. First one is about his mock draft (wait, isn't it November 21st?) and the other is some more bashing on the Milwaukee writer whose name doesn't matter anymore.

-Head on over to Dr. Pepper's website on Sunday and print out a billion million coupons for free soda (it's the first positive contribution Guns N Roses has ever made to society).

-A sorry goodbye to firejoemorgan.com. If we weren't so lazy, or sucky, we'd gladly fill those shoes.

-But a welcome back (from a one-week hiatus at least) to our broskies over at Cardinals Diaspora. Make sure you go to CardsDiaspora.com now, since the old domain is now owned by the commi bastards of the USSR (also check out athooks meeting Bert at a classy funkshun last week).

-I got 12 of 15 on this Saved by the Bell quiz, and I'm still a little disappointed.

Linx/Stuff/Junk

Here's an anniversary edition of LSJ, mixing some new stuff with some must-see extras (even if you don't laugh, it'll help you understand 1/5 of the dorky things we reference).

-This week's insideSTL article, in which I admit that I actually have faith in the Cardinal front office. I'll probably be looking dumb in about three months. Well, dumber than normal.

-TGF gives his baseball awards predictions. So far, so good. (My prediction: Pain)

-Big Head is in the market for a new car over at Mizzourah.

-OMG is shuttin' er down. Lucky for you, the ML is concentrating on drinking more Crown Royal and Bert Flexin'...hopefully at the same time.

-Lesbian friend of the site Lindsay Lohan calls it like she sees it. Ha ha, Rinsay Ro-han!


And a few classics, 'round these parts-a-town:

-Samuel L. Jackson Beer (Mmm mmm bitch)

-Russell Crowe Fightin' Round the World

-Oops, I hope that wasn't steroids


And breaking news on the bacon front, check out the Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo! Holy shit, this is awesome. I expect Hack to wear this for his next trial.



Link here. Go ahead and click "Add to Cart" if you like disappointments.

Anniversary Reflextions: What Was Life Like in 2005?

'Twas a simple time back in 2005. Mark Mulder had high hopes for a big '06 season. We were still giddy over the critically-acclaimed "1 Night in Paris." And most importantly, a group of dorks decided to start their own blog, writing about random stuff going on in their life and the sports world.

Back then we laid out the odds of hooking up with the newly-single Jessica Simpson. Now that we are all high-profile bloggers, Jessica wishes she was hooking up with us. (And who's to say she hasn't? Though she is younger than Big Sandwich, so we know he hasn't sealed the deal)

Back then we hustled little kids in basketball. Well...we still do that today, but the money pays for things like the electric bill or furniture.

But no matter how things have changed over the years, we hope that we've made a difference in your lives. Think to yourself - is your life better because of Bert Flex?

Fuckin' right it is!

We've opened your eyes to tons of cool products, news and information (mostly about bacon, fake breasts, & combinations of the two), funny videos, and a bunch of other crap that would be a pure waste of time for 99.9% of the rest of the internet to talk about.

Think of the progress you've made in the past three years - that's all because of us! You at least owe us some cookies, but probably more like a steak or two.

What I'm really trying to do is pat ourselves on the back for a job well done. And since I don't plan on writing one more sappy sentence this week, I'd just like to say thanks to our contributors, and thanks to our loyal readers.

We've got more junk coming throughout the rest of the week. Stay tuned!

We're Three Years Old - Almost

November 15th marks the three year anniversary of bertflex.com. In 2005, I kicked it off with a bang by saying this:

mark this date on yo' calendars: nov. 15, 2005. bert wins the mvp and bertflex.com is up and running. i'm in, tp's in, the 314 and 618 is gonna take over. as a wise man once said, "it's not my job to stop me." and you won't...

That was from my days of being a cocky young blogger who focused on shit-talking and using lowercase letters as opposed to the present, where it's all about the serious journalism and boobies.

If you click on that November 2005 link, you'll see we began the site with the above post, followed by ones about Eddie Guerrero's death, the Blues' draft pick possibilities, Mark Madsen, and Sir's college football rankings. They don't call us the best in the business for nothin'. Luckily that lack of focus hasn't continued throughout the years or anything...

This week we'll post our normal crap, and have some reflections on how we went from a measly six readers (ourselves) on day one of bertflex.com to the staggering eleven readers that we have today! We hold each and every one of you near and dear to our hearts. There may have been some technical difficulties for most of 2007, but we won't let that get in the way of having fun.

Linx/Stuff/Junk

Only two posts this week? Two God Damn posts? Blame Sir for making us be slackers, among all the other things he should be blamed for (terrorism, global warming, Taco Bell employees at the 270/Dorsett location being overworked, etc).

-This week's insideSTL article, is aboot pitching, eh?

-Mizzourah always has k.u.chebags on Fridays, but how about a Kansas State version (k.s.u.chebag)?

-Guess who's bizack? TGF has a new gig - check out his article about one Alllllbert Pujolz.

-Annie Fresh did a much better job live-blogging the election than us. Blame Sir for that too.

-And be sure to track Dennis Phillips' progress at the WSOP final table on Sunday.

And hey, a little side note: next week we'll be celebrating our three year anniversary (officially on November 15th, but since that's a Saturday, we're probably going to be partying that night and not click clacking on a computer). We've got a few things lined up already, so be sure to check out the festivities all week. One would assume it'll be more than two posts, but we've been sucking pretty bad for three years. Why stop now?

Linx/Stuff/Junk - or Treat

Happy Halloween everyone! Here are a couple linx for you to check out before stealing candy from the little bastards in your neighborhood:

-This week's insideSTL article, giving you some last minute costume ideas. Shame on me for leaving out an insensitive Scott Spiezio entry. And thanks to the fine folks at iSTL for linking us yesterday. I have to clean their office bathroom for the next 12 weeks, but it was so worth it!

-Another k.u.chebag on Mizzourah.

That's all I'm good for today since I'm a selfish bastard.

-Oh, how about the Periodic Table of Awesoments. TGF sent me the link a month or so ago, I'm really on the ball with these things...

-And one last one for the pervs; the spirit of Halloween isn't in the candy or the fun of a haunted house or hayride. It's in the skanky costumes.

As my treat to you, here are a few of my favorites:

Skanky Dorothy -


Skanky Ed Hochuli -


Skanky Girl Scout (gotta teach 'em early, that's what I say) -

-And some local skanks (via RFT's website).

Linx/Stuff/Junk

Let's start this week with Wednesday's insideSTL article, in which I included the brilliant MS Paint drawing artists' rendering of Mark Mulder going away. And it even drew the ire of three readers. Sorry to get you riled up guys.

-And last week's article. I honestly forgot what I wrote about, but there's the link.

-Mizzourah is focusing on Colorado. I haven't watched the past two games, did I miss anything?

-The ML checks in with a couple new posts since the last time we spoke.

-How's the new poker league going?

Two others that don't have anything to do with us:

-The Mammary Game. There are safe and not safe for work versions, but you shouldn't be working anyway today.

-Will Ferrell returned to SNL's Weekend Update Thursday Edition:

Finally ... the UCB Roundtable Blogcrawl has COME BACK

... to BertFlex!

My thought-provoking question for the gang:

We've got more outfielders than J.D.'s got Salinger. How do you see our outfield shaking out in '09? You can answer with a starting three, a starting three vs. LHP, a starting three vs. RHP, however detailed you want to get.

Bonus points for any response that starts with, "First, we trade Adam Kennedy and Brad Thompson for Matt Holliday."

Beat that, Stat Boy. The bloggers’ responses follow:

Nick (Pitchers Hit Eighth): Because the Charlie Manning pickup makes me skeptical that they're planning to trade outfield surplus for help elsewhere, I'm not sure that the coming season's outfield will shake out any different than 2008.

vLHP - LF Brian Barton, CF Rick Ankiel, RF Ryan Ludwick
vRHP - LF Skip Schumaker, CF Rick Ankiel, RF Ryan Ludwick
5th OF: Joe Mather

I'm not convinced that Duncan will be able to easily (or at all) come back from the neck injury and resulting surgery. At the very least, there's no precedent, so it'll be interesting to see how he reacts and recovers.

I'm beginning to think that the Cards might take a page out of the Rays' book and move Colby Rasmus similarly to Evan Longoria. Start him in Memphis, let him (hopefully) tear things up there for a month, then bring him up sometime in May.

This approach would allow guys like Ludwick and Schumaker to have a month or two to prove that last season was no fluke, hopefully increasing their trade value by the deadline. Plug Rasmus in, then move one of Schu or Luddy for help on July 31.

Dan (C70 at the Bat): I'm starting to think along the lines of Nick.  Barton, I believe, will wind up in AAA to get more ABs.  Rasmus will start down there as well.  We'll have Schumaker/Mather, Ankiel, and Ludwick playing on a fairly regular basis.  I really don't know if we'll see Chris Duncan again or not, but I figure he'll start the season on the DL, if nothing else, and then get some rehab time in the minors before we have to worry about him.

As Nick notes, the problem is that the trade value of our outfielders has taken a hit.  Schumaker is what he is, but people don't know if Duncan (and, to a lesser extent, Ankiel) can recover from injuries or if Ludwick's a one-year wonder.  So while we have a lot of them, we'd have to sell low on some of them to move them.

Bryan (Rockin’ the Red): I think the outfield is going to be a place that's addressed in the off-season. Whether it's Skip Schumaker, Chris Duncan, Joe Mather, or even Colby Rasmus (I hope not), there will be a trade dealing from our area of relative strength. If we keep Rasmus, he, Ryan Ludwick, and Rick Ankiel will form the regular outfield, but against lefties that outfield could look like Joe Mather/Brian Barton, Colby Rasmus, and Ryan Ludwick.

Personally, I would look to deal Skip Schumaker, considering that his value has never been higher right now and the Cardinals have plenty of lefthanded outfielders.

Scott (Cardinal Nation Globe): Here's my take on the outfield situation. I think Barton needs more ABs so he should probably start out at AAA, as should Rasmus (unless he shows some major improvement in spring training). I've got a bad feeling about Duncan, I don't think we'll see much more of him - we should have traded him last off season. I think Ankiel will recover but will still be injury-prone and will probably only play 100-120 games next season. I do think we need to trade someone, maybe Schumaker ... Ludwick's stock is high but I'd hate to see him go after what he did in 2008. I see the Cards’ outfield in 2009 as being Ankiel, Ludwick, and Schumaker/Mather. We'll probably see Rasmus move up to the big league club by mid-late next summer.

John (The Cardinal Virtue): I think that we need to get more for the overachievers. And it pains me to say this but the smart move is to deal Luds. The fan in me wants to keep him. However, Rasmus is on the way up, and at this stage we can deal an "All-Star" to shore up the OF. I'd deal Ankiel too -- I don't see him having a season like the one he just did. I'd like to see more of a regular outfield from day to day -- but asking that of TLR is asking a Zebra to change his stripes. Ankiel, Luds, and Schu will get the nod most nights. However, if Rasmus does well in AAA (where I expect him to start out) then we should deal Luds early -- if not before the season starts.

Pip (Fungoes): The most likely scenario as it stands today is that the opening-day outfielders will be a lot like 2008: Ankiel, Schumaker, Ludwick, Duncan, and, depending on Spring Training, Mather or Barton. Status quo in the outfield is actually a good thing: The Cardinal outfield was tops in the league in total runs created in 2008. That affords them the luxury of further development of Rasmus and Mather/Barton at Memphis. And of course, they have enough interchangeable parts to be able to trade one or more, which they should do before Opening Day.

As for who plays where, as much as fans oohed and aahed over Ankiel's throws (well, some of them), the probable fact is that he, Ludwick, and Schumaker are all comparable fielders, which is to say that they're all slightly above average (Schumaker's OOZ in CF was .920; Ankiel's was .921).

Mike (Stan Musial’s Stance): I don't have much to add to the discussion on the OF. I think Ludwick, Ankiel, and Schumaker will get the majority of the ABs next year, unless/until Rasmus is deemed ready for prime time by LaRussa/the organization.

However, as has been mentioned, the best way to relieve the logjam in the outfield is to move someone. Duncan was the most attractive (at least in my mind) trade chip until he got hurt last year. As much as I enjoyed Ludwick's renaissance, he's the most marketable commodity we've got right now (assuming the organization has no intention to move either Ankiel or Rasmus). Making the broad assumption that 2008 was a career year for Ryan, and his trade value is about as high as it will ever get, what about swapping him and Anderson to the Padres for Jake Peavy?

SD needs another impact bat to protect Adrian Gonzalez; Ludwick would bring that.

SD's catchers were notoriously bad last season (couldn't hit, couldn't throw anyone out). Anderson can at least hit, and by most estimates is a good defensive catcher.

Peavy would anchor a good (and potentially great, pending Carpenter's return) rotation in St Louis.

Peavy is being shopped (although it is unclear who initiated the trade talks, the Padres or Peavy's people), and St. Louis is on the short list of teams he'd be willing to OK a trade to; he also really wants to stay in the NL.

I don't mean to hijack the thread, but since Peavy trade rumors are the rage right now in San Diego baseball circles, I thought it was an interesting discussion point. (Editor’s Note: Stay classy, San Diego!)

Tom (Cardinals GM): I think we see a very different outfield than what ended the year of 2008. I believe that Rasmus and possibly Ludwick will be moved for an impact player. Duncan, much to my chagrin, will start with the team at the completion of Spring Training. Barton will start in AAA or be moved as another player in a trade. Ankiel, Schumaker, Duncan, Mather, and the new impact player will be on the team. Then, of course, add any infielder to add to the outfield surplus.

Don (Redbirg Blog): First, we trade Adam Kennedy and Brad Thompson for Matt Holliday.  I see no reason why the Rockies wouldn't make this deal. (Editor’s Note: We have a winner!)

In all seriousness, I see the Cardinals trying to get into the mix on Jake Peavy, and my guess is that would mean moving Rasmus and one of either Ludwick or Ankiel (along with an additional minor league prospect or two).  If the Cards can't swing the deal, my guess is the team will still move at least one of Schumaker or Barton this offseason, and will start the 2009 season with a lineup that includes Ankiel and Ludwick.  They'll mix in Duncan, Mather, and the survivor of the Barton/Schumaker movement.  By May 30 (at the latest), Rasmus assumes the everyday CF job with Ankiel moving to RF and Ludwick to LF.

If the Cards are successful on the Peavy front (and depending on who gets moved in that deal), the Cards may have to go out and sign (or trade for) an OF bat this offseason. Pat Burrell anyone?

Daniel (Redbirds Fun): Count me in as a fan of trying to land Burrell.

UCB Blog Crawl

In our efforts to dominate the Innerwebs as much as possible, we’re participating in the United Cardinals Bloggers’ offseason roundtable. Approximately everyday (in keeping with bloggers’ inability to adhere to any kind of schedule), a different Cardinals-related blog will host a discussion of a given topic.

It’s kind of like “Around the Horn,” except you can read it on the can if you have the right equipment.

Linx/Stuff/Junk

I've got a little catching up to do with the Links this week, so here goes:

-Yesterday's insideSTL article, which encourages you to jump on the Rays bandwagon. It actually pulled two comments from people, I was impressed.

-And last week's article, about the Kyle Lohse signing.

-Mizzourah is still coming off that high from the Nebraska clubberin'. After a short visit to CoMo on Saturday I came off a Shakespeare's Pizza high sometime around Tuesday. Mmm mmm bitch. Big Head posted the Mike Gundy rant from last year. He's a man! He's forty!

-The ML has some new shit up at OMG! Hit that up.

-In case anyone was curious as to whooomm conquered the Hardcore League, find out.

-Or the MASH League.

-And hey, we started a poker league. If you're interested, let us know.

-One last silly link: Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals from last week's SNL. Dumb humor, but terrific stuff.



Say hi to ya motha for me.

Linx/Stuff/Junk

Did you read about the travesty at the University of Idaho? Their cheerleaders have been ordered to wear less skimpy uniforms. What the hell? I thought this was 'Mericuh we were living in? Luckily they are still allowed to throw some dubs whenever a camera is around.

Here are this week's links:

-My final in-season insideSTL article, where I write an overdue article ripping Sign Guy. It felt good, I must admit. Be sure to check me out on Wednesdays in the off-season. If you ever have suggestions on what to write (or would be courteous to write it yourself), holla at me: haymang@yahoo.com.

-TGF over at the Sporting News last week. Oh, and this week. It's a double dose of asskickin'.

-Mizzourah discusses the victory over Buffalo. In case you haven't been paying attention, there is another team named Buffalo making some noise in a different football league.

-We've been distracting the ML from important things, with our silly shrimp eating contests and Guitar Hero concerts. So knock it off.

-And a fun link: if you never saw (or were a fan of) Iron Man, Kung Fu Panda, or Indiana Jones, head to any Wehrenberg Theater for one week (beginning this Friday) and catch any of those movies for $1. Not a bad deal, but where's You Don't Mess with the Zohan? Bastards!

Linx/Stuff/Junk

This is how the lovely Miss Hilton celebrated her 27th birthday earlier this year. I was a little more low key than that, to say the least. Keep doing your thing, P-Hilt (phenomenal), and I'll do mine.

By the way, are there stats out there for bloggers in their age 27 season? I won't guarantee that I'll be funnier over the next 12 months, but I can't wait to begin my mashin' campaign in softball Thursday night. I'll let you know how it goes (unless I suck).

Here are this week's links:

-On insideSTL, I brainstorm new website ideas related to the Cardinals. It's only a matter of time before I cash in on my greatness and drop you guys to pursue my dream of running a new porn site called SluttyCardinalFans.com.

-Mizzourah has a good post comparing Big XII teams to pro wrasslers.

-TGF has an article here but you gots to pony up to read it.

-The ML has a bunch of new posts over at OMG.

-I had a prophetic post back in January of '06, showing my disinterest in the Rams hiring Scott Linehan. Shower me with praise...now.