Bah, It's Monday - Here's A Bunch of Posts in One

-Coming back to work after a three day weekend is the worst. Scratch that, just going to work is the worst.

-So the Brewers trade for Chocolate Cheesecake Sabathia. I personally didn't see them being this aggressive, but hats off to the Brew Crew for having the balls to make this deal. I still don't think they're as good as the Cubs. Lineups are pretty even, and although the Brewers have a way better one/two punch as far as starters go, the Jeff Suppan/Manny Parra/Dave Bush/Seth McClung quadfecta of suck won't get it done to win the division. The Wild Card is theirs for the taking though. At least The Good Face will be excited that Matt LaPorta is now on the fast track in the Indians organization.

-Speaking of the Indians, here is the most patriotic hat I've seen in years. America: fuck yeah!

-We had a stellar weekend of events and nothing was left on the field. We gave it our all, and the only downside may be the lack of wiffleball. We made up with that by playing RBI Baseball until the wee hours Saturday night.

Lots of booze was drunken. Lots of meat was consumed. Lots of farts were unleashed into Maltliquorman's couch. And most importantly, lots of shit-talkin' was dished out. All in a Saturday nights' work.

-Sunday, Big Sandwich won the Urban Dictionary Bee. I would say congrats to him, but "good sportsmanship" isn't in my dictionary. Plus he's been placed on the 15 day DL (ruptured ass) after some highlight reel farts on Saturday night. The only thing it compared to was Sir's performance on March 17, 2007 at the inaugural Hardcore League Draft. Just an unreal display of loud farts, smelly farts, and even one fart while taking off at the free throw line. 10's all around from the judges. Bert Blyleven would be proud/disgusted.

-I'm usually honest with you guys 20-23% of the time, but this one is true - I had a horrible misjudgement of the baseball calendar and thought the All Star break was this week (beginning today). I've been planning on using an old article from B-Flex for this week's insideSTL column, but have decided to hold off until next Tuesday when the All Star game actually takes place. I'd love to host a "Give-me-a-topic-because-I'm-lazy" contest, but I'll show a little effort and take care of that part.

Instead, the contest will be this: I want you guys to give me a random reference of something, and whoever is deemed the winner, will get that "thing" mentioned in this week's column. Last week was the Pellegrino Curse. The week before was the James Madison Gang. Give me something, anything. I'll work it in there...whatever the hell I'm writing about.

I don't care if it's a Simpsons' quote, wrasslin' reference, or a step-by-step guide on how to properly handle a bag of baby carrots bubbling in your stomach.

Whatchu got? Hurry up and post in the comments, gotta get it written later tonight.

Bert Blyleven in ......... the GREATEST! INTERVIEW! EVAR!!!!!

Stop what you're doing right now and click this link: Answer Man: Bert Blyleven. Yes I know it's a Yahoo link and those usually suck. This one definitely does not. In fact, that's where this AWESOME picture of Bert came from. There are eight questions about Blyleven's flatulence in the interview. He also talks about dropping those F-bombs on live TV a few years back. I'm starting to think we might be honoring the wrong "Bert" here at Bert Flex. Discuss.

Greg Maddux Drops Bombs

This paragraph changed my entire perception of hanging out with Greg Maddux...

From ESPN.com: "One morning this spring in Peoria, Ariz., he sat at his corner locker with a plate of bacon and eggs on his lap, talking about pitching. He was running some sort of low-stakes golf pool out of the corner of his eye, passing out papers and collecting money without turning his head. At one point, in midsentence and without warning, he winced like a man about to pass a stone, lifted his left cheek off the chair and let loose. "Whoa, wow, sorry about that," he said, then continued with the eggs and the discussion and the golf pool. So add that to the Maddux scouting report: bats right, throws right, farts left."