Nope, Still Not Safe to Watch Around the Horn

Today's winner? Lil' Wayne.

And here is the proof. Wayne starts out strong with some football discussion (imagine that, on ESPN):


Midway through the show, Wayne is dominated by Michael Smith and Woody Paige. Jay Mariotti is still in the game, but Weezy needs a big choke-job by Woody. With his intellect, that would never happen, would it?


Oh but it did! Weezy fo' sheezy makes it to the Showdown vs. Michael Smith! This is exciting! What's gonna happen?!


After two basketball topics (insert racism here)...Lil' Wayne is today's champ. He even goes as far as using air quotes in his 20 seconds of face time:


Congrats, I think. Even better, Statboy says "Well said, G" after Wayne's rant on Lawrence Taylor joining Dancing with the Stars. Truly a banner episode in ATH history. Actually it's probably the banner episode.

If you'd like to hear the championship wisdom of Lil' Wayne, head to his blog on espn.com. Nope, that's not a misprint either.

How Bored Are You? Take a Test!

Trey Wingo hosts a video on ESPN.com about their new site redesign. The video is 1 minute 56 seconds. How long can you make it?

Click here to find out.

8 seconds for me. Good in rodeo at least.

To Each His Own

In part II of what may become a series of sexual innuendo-laced Vaseline ads at the top of espn.com, we get to know what makes Chase Utley one of the best players in the Majors today:


Working his body and working his skin? Alright, you guys aren't even trying to be discreet about it now. Come on!

What's On My TV?

In case you couldn't tell by the Brett Favre coverage, the football season has started. Normal people don't care about football until early September, but ESPN will continue to beat into your head that this National Football League season is the most important season of all-time.

Well, until 365 days from now, when next season will be the most important National Football League season of all-time, but don't mention that right now, since the world could end at any minute, and we'd be left without football.

Sure the fantasy drafts are fun, but my favorite part about the football season will always be seeing referee Ed Hochuli. It looks like his offseason training has gone well, and a fresh shipment of X-Small uniforms have arrived. For the next four months, he invites you to the featured event at The Gun Show:


My apologies to the women out there if that photo impregnated you on the spot. Luckily that isn't a full-on flex, or else you'd probably be having triplets.

Speaking of guns, here's something I had from a couple days ago:

Since when did Chyna become an analyst for the X-Games?


If you don't know what Dana Jacobson is famous for, learn it now.

(P.S. Despite "what's on my tv?", I still hate espn - seriously)

ESPN Stat Department on Vacation

I'm not a math guy. Never have been, never will. Hell, I had York's mom for high school algebra if that tells you anything. With that said, and a bachelor's degree on my wall, I can easily figure out that the WWL really mailed it in during the ESPN.com Gamecast of the Cards/Phillies game on Friday night. Somehow, the WWL's stat department found a formula that 1+0=2 2.46% of the time. I realize Troy Glaus is a slugger, but dammit, I don't think he can hit a two-run blast with nobody on...even 2.46% of the time. Rock N Jock, meet the ESPN stat department.