The Worst Foods of 2009 - According to Not Us

Back in the summer we had a big discussion about a list of the Worst Foods in America, and it pretty much confirmed we are a bunch of disgusting bastards.

Today I caught word that the updated list for 2009 is out. Head over to Men's Health to learn about the foods that normal people should avoid. We, on the other hand, fully endorse all 20 foods.

With all the greasy options out there, you might be surprised that #1 isn't something deep fried. It's the Baskin Robbins Large Heath Bar Shake, filled with 2,310 calories of yummy goodness.

Even though it's fucking cold outside, my suggestion is to go out and try this immediately. At the beginning of the article, it says that eight out of last year's list of twenty have been removed from their respective menus. So it's possible that a year from now (if not sooner), we could be celebrating the memory of the Heath Bar Shake.

In disappointing news, I haven't had anything on this year's list. I blame it on them using too many places I don't go to (Chili's, Outback Steakhouse, Romano's Macaroni Grill, Uno Chicago Grill), not to mention using those places more than once. If I really put my mind to it, I think I could knock out three or four of these (looking at the Hardee's and DQ entries especially) by the end of the weekend. We'll see.

I enjoy reading articles like this, as it usually provides me some entertainment and is something I can have fun discussing with other people. But one thing kind of got me riled up, provoking a smidgen of anger within my system.

The one bone I have to pick (literally...you'll get the joke in two seconds) is the category of "Worst Ribs of 2009." Uh, Men's Health: there is no such thing as Worst Ribs, so you need to shut your whore mouth. I believe Ponderosa was selling a rib platter with rat poison seasoning in the fall of '07, and they weren't that bad. Only the close-minded people had a problem with them...

For reference, MH's "Worst Ribs" are the full rack of Outback Steakhouse Baby Back Ribs, which means I need to be there with my Krusty Brand Heart Defibrillator ASAP.