Dear Rickie Weeks,
Last week I saw that you and the Brewers avoided arbitration with your $2.45 million deal for 2009. It's amazing how you tricked the Brewers into thinking that you'll be that good this season, because I know what you're all about, Rickie Weeks. I know you. And you fucking suck.
Back in 2005 I was led to believe by the guy fittingly known as "Brewers Guy," (a friend of Annie Fresh) that Rickie Weeks would be a fantasy baseball savior. You know, since he was the greatest college second baseman - ever.
Brewers Guy must not have heard of Marshall McDougall, who is not only the greatest college 2B of all of the times, he has a case for greatest college player ever (at least in the mashing-is-everything culture of BertFlex).
And as Sir pointed out back then, good college second basemen are called shortstops.
Sir 2, Brewers Guy 0. Ballgame.
But I saw the numbers Stickie Rickie put up in college and I was intrigued. Towards the middle of '05, Weeks was called up and the hit parade was supposed to begin.
I, being the prospects geek that I am, nabbed Weeks for all my teams. A) He's a rookie B) he can hit (allegedly) and C) he's an infielder. It's the fail-proof recipe of destruction I like to load up on year to year for my fantasy teams. What's not to like about Rickie Weeks?
Years later, we find out the answer to that is: All. The. Sucking.
And here we are today, Rickie will be paid $2.45 Million. According to FanGraphs, the past three years he was worth $1.2, 1.3, and 1.1 million. The past three years he was on a ton of my fantasy teams. The past three years I believed. And the past three years, I ended the season pissed for believing in Rickie Weeks.
As the calendar turns to March, I wonder if this will be the year that I learn? Can I quit Rickie Weeks? The potential is there, guys...it really is.
I don't know if I can have three or four teams without Rickie Weeks on one of them. I would hate to miss out on THE year that he finally blows up. Come on Rickie, I need this, man. Don't let me down. No more .230 batting averages. No more injuries. No more sucking.
You're on a short leash Mr. Weeks. If you're still worthless in mid May, I'm going to Sir's "Rickie Weeks is Shitty" One Step Program and quitting my habit: You.
Until 2010 when he turns 27. Dammit.
Dear Rickie Weeks,