Worst Thing Ever Alert

Being the young, successful, in-the-know businessman that I am, I read an article on Yahoo Finance yesterday about 15 Companies That May Not Survive 2009.

Some no-brainers are on the list, like Six Flags and Blockbuster. Everyone knows they're struggling. But one company on the list is a true heart breaker: Krispy Kreme.

From the write-up on Yahoo:

Krispy Kreme. (KKD; about 4,000 employees; stock down 50%). The donuts might be good, but Krispy Kreme overestimated Americans' appetite - and that's saying something. This chain overexpanded during the donut heyday of the 1990s - taking on a lot of debt - and now requires high volumes to meet expenses and interest payments. The company has cut costs and closed underperforming stores, but still hasn't earned an operating profit in three years. And now that consumers are cutting back on everything, such improvements may fail to offset top-line declines, leading Krispy Kreme to seek some kind of relief from lenders over the next year.

'Mericah has gone through some rough days recently, but could you imagine the countrywide depression we'd all go through if there were no more Krispy Kreme? I'm not talking about "Great Depression" depression...this is cry-yourself-to-sleep levels of sadness.

If I were you, I'd go buy stock in whoever makes Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, etc. Business will increase dramatically from Sir, Big Head, and I alone. In the meantime, we'll continue to be fat bastards with donut glaze all over our keyboards.

Go support Krispy Kreme. 'Mericah is counting on you.