Honorary Flexer: Dubya

Due at least in part to the 22nd Amendment, I won’t be voting for George W. Bush in November. Whatever brand of politics you might practice, though, one thing has become abundantly clear: Brotha knows how to flex.

The dude used to own the Texas Rangers. That’s a glorified way of saying he played fantasy baseball. He even traded a young Sammy Sosa for a mediocre half-season of Harold Baines. With trading acumen like that, Bush should be writing “Who’s Shitty?” instead of Sir.

He isn’t afraid to unholster the guns. Honestly, I work out from time to time, but I haven’t seen pipes like that since the last time I played Super Mario Bros. Side note: Am I the only one who still has “intimate” dreams about Princess?

Chicks dig the President. How many times has Misty May-Treanor offered you her mudflaps for a ceremonial spank (with Kerri Walsh watching, no less)? Unless you’re a backup catcher for the Florida Marlins, the answer is none times. Ball-bumping with MMT has to rank as the most under-rated perk of the presidency.

We have had internal discussions regarding adding another well-spoken, thoughtful writer to the Flex staff. It seems readily apparent that there are few (if any) candidates more qualified than the current president of the United States.