Honorary Flexer: The Fat Toad

There's no true "quality" that an Honorary Flexer needs to possess, but the things we generally look out for is 1) cockiness and arrogance, 2) willingness to start fights at any given moment, and 3) an addiction to fatty foods and/or alcohol.

Let's talk about Hideki Irabu. He had a fun Wednesday night back home in Japan. I'll just copy and paste the article from mlb.com, so sit back and enjoy this tale:

TOKYO -- Former New York Yankees pitcher Hideki Irabu was arrested Wednesday for allegedly assaulting a bartender after drinking 20 mugs of beer, a police official said.

Irabu, 39, became angered after his credit card was rejected. He then allegedly pushed the bartender against the wall, pulled his hair, and smashed at least nine liquor bottles at a bar in Osaka, western Japan, a police official said on condition of anonymity, citing department policy.

So he downs 20 mugs of beer (#3 - check). His credit card is rejected and he is apparently insulted (#1). Then he roughs up the barkeep (#2) because it was obviously his fault for screwing everything up. Once again: 20 mugs of beer.

For a quick history lesson on Irabu, he's pretty much famous for being called a "fat pussy toad" by George Steinbrenner (I thought Big Stein called him a "fat Jap" too, but there is conflicting evidence on the internet. Our own Sir has called him, and countless other Asian people "Japs," but I don't think I'd get the two quotable gentlemen mixed up). I also remember Irabu's name being butchered by Harry Caray during his rookie year of '97.

Nerds like me would add that he's famous for being a part of the groundbreaking 1997 Bowman set, as a young HMW was shocked to see a hefty price tag ($15, maybe more?) on his card one day at the baseball card shop.

But back to the moral of the story. If you want to become an honorary flexer, knock out - literally knock out - the three traits listed above and you'll quickly catch our attention.

The unfortunate part of this story is that it gives Sir an idea the next time a waitress calls him "Sir." Hair pulling...slamming her against the wall...smashing beer bottles...

(And I hope I'm there to see it)

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