5.28.2008

Douche Bag Report: Overenthusiastic Fan in Section 129 Edition

Your flowing curly locks.  Your sweatbands.  your replica batting helmet with a 2006 World Series sticker plastered on the back.  Your casually unbuttoned navy McGwire jersey and bright red baseball glove.  Your endless droning chants that distract your own team and bleed into the TV and radio feeds.  Your joyous participation in the wave and inability to clap rhythmically.  Your high fives, back slaps, and liberal use of the finger gun.

All this led me to believe you were a 12-year-old with accelerated aging disease living your make-a-wish with season tickets.  But with a couple months of light recon (binoculars, nachos, Bud Light), I have determined that you are actually a grown man with the most developed case of douche baggery I have seen in my young life.  Hats off, sir.  You are now on my most hated list, right between Pol Pot and Dr. Claw.

2 comments:

hazelwood's most wanted said...

was he sporting a mustache? sign guy's crew sits on that side, might be one of them.

Mad Librarian said...

Nope, no mustache, and he doesn't appear to be in sign guy's posse. Just a rogue d-bag.