My newest man-crush finally got the call yesterday. Man-child Jay Bruce made his major league debut in last night's game against the Pirates and apparently finds the whole thing quite easy. Batting second, he went 3-for-3 with two walks, two runs, two RsBI and a double. Get on the Jay Bruce train NOW! Tickets are going fast and you do not want to miss out.

After Dusty Baker tried to get him to stop taking pitches all the time, he went down to Louisville and hit .364/.393/.630 until it was finally blatantly obvious, even to the Reds, that he might actually be able to play baseball better than Corey Patterson. Sadly for those of us who like baseball, Mr. Patterson is still on a major league roster this morning. Scott Hatteberg was the one who took the fall as the Reds gave him his walking papers. Now that the Reds have JB, Joey Votto, and Donkey, plus Johnny Cuervo, they are quickly becoming one of my favorite teams to watch. Luckily they have no pitching so I can be a fan of Reds players without suffering the indignity of actually being a Reds fan.

Just to rub it in your face, I own Bruce in my keeper league so I get to benefit from his exploits for the next three seasons. Yes, I know that no one cares about my fantasy team; too bad. This is "The Me Show" and I put it on blast. That's how I roll.


**UPDATE 5/28 11pm: Video Evidence


Anonymous said...

There is no 'ctrl' button on Jay Bruce's computer. Jay Bruce is always in control.

Anonymous said...

Jay Bruce is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Anonymous said...

Jay Bruce can slam a revolving door.

The Good Face said...

I was not prepared for Jeff Brantley doing commentary on the video. At least I didn't have to see his perm-mullet (assuming he still has it).

Also, is the long-haired guy in the group shot at :55 part of the Bruce family? If so, I bet he's named "Smokin' a J" Bruce. Hay-ooooh!!