Predictions for 2008 Cardinals

Cardinals will have less arms than Iraq

Cardinals will score less than Justin at Bubby and Sissy's

Cesar Izturis just robbed a Brinks truck

Jim Edmonds thinks the Cardinals will strike out ALOT

The Royals laugh at the Cardinals' lineup

John Ulett, while on the mic, will turn and go "Who the fuck is at shortstop?". In turn, John Whodafuk will trot out and bat 8th.

Walt Jocketty will walk through the dugout, look at TLR, and slap him.

Bertflex will go yard 47 times...and set the record for solo homeruns in one season with 47.

John Mozeliak will scout Sandlot Slam and sign Tony to a contract of only Hardee's Thickburgers.

John Mozeliak will also win the first ever Robert Wadlow look alike contest defeating Wadlow himself!

The Cardinals will hire Ron Popeil to try to sell tickets. Unfortunately, they will be "as and added bonus" (aka AAAB) to his knives.