Who's Shitty

Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another installment of the "Who's Shitty" fantasy report, your premier source for fantasy baseball opinions. Tony Pellegrino, webmaster and fantasy expert will check the mailbag and answer all your fantasy questions. We have picked five more questions for November, so hopefully yours will get answered. If you're lucky, Tony might call your favorite fantasy player "Shitty," which will automatically make your team even better (see: Pellegrino Curse in the bertflex glossary).

Keeping up with our pals at yahoo.com and now cbssportsline.com, here is a badass picture of Tony, working security at the rowdiest wedding reception ever last weekend.

With all the hot stove talk going on, let's see what Tony has to say...

1. (Thomas-Cincy/Big Head-Omaha) Do you like Wainwright as the closer or in the rotation next season, and what will the Cards shitty rotation look like for aught-seven?

Wainwright had better be in the rotation or someone's gonna die. For those who say "but he was a good closer, and we need one of those", we need a good starter more. Which would you rather have, 75 innings or 180 innings out of Wainwright? I want 180 innings but what do I know? That said, what I would like to see and what will happen are two different things. Since Cardinals management is stupid, Wainwright will be the closer and we'll need more starting pitching. Bold Prediction Time: The 2007 rotation will look like:

  1. Chris Carpenter
  2. Randy Wolf
  3. Woody Williams
  4. Anthony Reyes
  5. Jason Johnson

2. (Marty-Springfield, MO) This offseason is killing me, only 13 weeks left. How do you like these babies for the free agent signings: "Going, Going, Gonzo!" "Clean Up Your Own Meche!" "I Am ADAM-ent, Kennedy Rules!" This stuff is gold, Tony...GOLD!

Hey Marty, Bob Carpenter is on the line. He said you need to go back to the minors and work on your snappy. I say NEVER WRITE ME AGAIN. I'm trying to decide who is more obnoxious, Sign Guy or Headline Guy. I've got my own bad headlines for you. Try "Welcome to St. Luis (Gonzalez)", "The Cards Would Gil For Some Pitching", "Cards Hit'em Right Adam." That's how you do it, rookie. (Insert sign guy head nod here.)

3. (Big Head-still in Omaha) Who's shitty enough to sign a non-'roided, non-corked, semi-retired, ex-Cub by the name of Sammy Sosa?

Here's another BOLD PREDICTION (TM): When Barry Bonds walks away from the Giants, they will at least bring Sosa into camp. I'm not saying he'll make the team, but he'd fit right in with their strategy of getting old washed up power hitters who use the juice. Give Sammy some HGH and he'll be ready to roll.

4. (Britney-West Hollywood, CA) Tony, you had A LOT of food during the month of October. After a few final signatures here and there, I'm looking to take a little time off and possilby stopping by your small, but dangerous town. Of all the places the bertflex team went last month, where do you recommend that I should stop by and take in a football game?

Hey Britney, 1999 called. They are interested in that sex tape you made. Too bad nobody else is. I don't know if you'll be able to slum it enough to fit in here in the STL but if you do, Wild Wings is my choice. There will be a full article coming out soon regarding all the stops on PlayoffPalooza2006 but I rank Wild Wings #1 and HotShots #2 (despite some TV shadiness).

5. (Shaun-THE Hazelwood West HS) Tony, give it to me straight. Give me some "Crazy Tony" predictions for the hot stove league. Will Miggy Tejada or Manny ever be traded? Who wins the Fonzie sweepstakes? Carlos Lee? Barry Z and Schmidt? What is going to be the worst free agent signing?

Alright Shaun, you wanted some BOLD PREDICTIONS (TM), here they are:

  • Miguel Tejada traded to Seattle
  • Alfonzo Soriano to the Dodgers
  • Carlos Lee to Houston
  • Barry Zito to Anaheim
  • Jason Schmidt to the Evil Empire
  • Daisuke Matsuzaka will be the worst free agent signing, for the money
  • JD Boo to Texas
  • Pat Burrell traded to Giants

If any of these BOLD PREDICTIONS don't hit, I'll give you double your money back.

If you would like to ask Tony "Who's Shitty?" please send your questions to shaunfanclub@hotmail.com. Tony Pellegrino's advice should be taken with caution, since he finished second to last in two money leagues this year, so he's not an expert at all honestly.

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