10.05.2006

MySpace Race #3

This must be "Big Return Week" here at the 'Flex, because today I bring you the return of the MySpace race. Today's race was nearly two months in the making; very disappointing results from our two competitors.

It is almost as disappointing as us having zero baseball posts during the first week of the playoffs. I'd like do my best Mark Messier and GUARANTEE that I will have a baseball post up when you check our site Monday morning. I'm sure there will be enough material to fill a column after going to the game Saturday and Sunday (if necessary). Oh, you're not going? Look for me on tv, I'll be the guy in red.

On to today's race...

Football season is a month underway and we welcome the annual return of two of my favorites: John Madden and Ed Hochuli. Madden because of his bumbling explanation of the simplest topics, plus his man-crush on Brett Favre. If Brett Favre and Jessica Alba were standing side-by-side with signs that said "Free Sex Now," I'd hate to imagine the outcome of John Madden's decision. But I digress.

Ed Hochuli is not as mainstream famous as Madden, since he is only a referee. But he is a referee who can and will kick your ass whenever he pleases. He is the reason why the phrase "The Gun Show" was termed. A lot of NFL fans know who he is and is a fun part of the game whenever reffing. Ed Hochuli will turn a simple "Holding" call into a Hulk Hogan WrestleMania VII promo.

The reason we are here today is to see which one jumps at the chance of being my friend on the MySpace website quicker. I sent the friend request to both men on Monday, August 7th.

Madden has the huge advantage here, as he has 5800 friends, compared to Hochuli's mere 36. But I think the reason has to do with Ed Hochuli's treacherous friend-selection process, as opposed to Madden's popularity. Rumor has it that in order to be Hochuli's friend, you have to go through a weeklong bootcamp in Liberia.

In his photo gallery there is a picture probably taken from his law firm's website. A simple google search found it to confirm. As a side note, you can email Ed directly: ehochuli@jshfirm.com. But you didn't hear that from me.

Madden and Hochuli's individual sites include funny little tidbits too. Now we know that John Madden is on MySpace for "Dating & Serious Relationships." And Ed Hochuli doesn't know how to spell Attorney.

Guess what kids, it's not really them.

Nonetheless, the competition took a while to complete, but your winner this week is...

Neither?

"How come Shaun?" you may ask. Well, the answer is simple: they both suck and have yet to respond.

So what other knowledgeable football expert could I turn to?



<--- This guy .
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That's right, Sean Salisbury comes through in the clutch!

You can view his page here: http://www.myspace.com/humanratingspike

3 comments:

Big Head said...

Where is Sean Salisbury at in that picture? Looks like the set of some local access show.

hazelwood's most wanted said...

did you ever play football big head??

you need to shut up!


-SALISBURY

Big Head said...

Alton High School football from '96-99. (

W)Rec(K)ords of 2-7, 1-8, 5-4, 3-6, or at least something close to that. Yeah, just like Polk High's finest.

Ironically, I think we still had more wins over four years than you had Salisbury, in your career!!!