2.13.2006

mlb.com loses its credibility

Now that football season is over, the media has to curtail its love affair for Brett Favre and Tom Brady for awhile. To fill that void, they get to talk about how wonderful Derek Jeter is. In an attempt to get ahead of the game, an unnamed writer for mlb.com showed his true stripes and made some serious verbal man-love with the Yankee shortstop.

The following is taken from the fantasy baseball rankings from mlb.com (even though Jeter is ranked 2nd among shortstops). If you have a weak stomach or have a history of heart problems, please do not read this:

And on the seventh day, God rested. Having created the heavens and the Earth, the seas and all they contain, He ceased all labors. But the seventh day being a Sunday, and with all of His fantasy teams playing, He needed a shortstop. So God created Derek Jeter, and blessed him, and said unto him, be fruitful. And Jeter was good. Jeter held dominion over opposing pitchers (.309 AVG in 2005), was plentiful in power (19 HR and 70 RBIs), and moved over the earth (14 steals) and across home plate (122 runs). And God blessed Jeter, and sanctified him, and said to Roto owners everywhere, make Jeter your No. 1 middle infielder.



Ace & Gary?

2 comments:

hazelwood's most wanted said...

i'd like to keep a running tally of who threw up after reading that. so far the list is two: me and a guy from work.

big sandwich said...

I just checked mlb.com because I didn't believe you. I wish it was made up. I am extremely ill.

sandwich