2.26.2006

Cue that annoying music

As the Harlem Globetrotters go for win 22,000 tonight in Hartford, another team is looking for a milestone win in their short history. The New York Nationals will attempt to win their first game ever. Louis "Red" Klotz, the owner and manager of the Nationals, has been squaring off against the Globetrotters for over 50 years, he was also a player and a coach of the now disbanded Washington Generals who had an impressive record of 1 and 13,000+ agianst Harlems finest. "I had the winning shot against those mother fuckers in '71, we thought the drought was over, but we never won a game after that" exclaimed a clearly drunk Klotz. He folded the Generals in '95 to start a promising young team called the New York Nationals who have underwhelmed audiences with their "conventional" style of play. "We don't bounce balls off our head or throw buckets of confetti on people, that shit is gay" explains Nationals PF Tarvis McGlore "we play ball like your 'sposed to, one of these days we'll beat those ass-clowns and bring some respect back to exhibition basketball."





No wonder the Nationals have a hard time scoring.







Fan favorite Eugene Edgerson, of the Globetrotters, explained to me why they have had so much success against the Nationals. "Basically, they suck" Eugene told me, then after we laughed for a few minutes he said, "we know what they're gonna throw at us, we've played them almost every day for the past ten years."


Fun Globetrotter Facts:

*Some folks who have played for the Globetrotters - Wilt Chamberlain, Bob Gibson, and former Kansas Jayhawks star Michael Lee.






Lee - "The Globetrotters offered me 10 bucks to play for them, and I took it!"






*Besides their famous appearances on Scooby Doo, the Globetrotters had their own animated show for one year on CBS in the seventies, with unforgetable episodes such as: Hold that Hillbilly, Pardon My Magic, and Granny's Royal Ruckus.

*officially the Globetrotters have 344 loses, all but one have been handed out by Chuck Norris.






"Is Curly Neal gonna have to smack a bitch?!"

2 comments:

GlennK said...

The Nat'ls used to be called the Washington Generals. It's a circus show beloved for it's racist stereotypes and just for fun baskelball. A Black owner now has the Globbies Manny Jackson and he's done everything he can to try and destroy the memory of the founder Abe Saperstein. Jackson once played for the Globbies in the late 60's and has bug up his ass about how Abe treated him. He mostly hugged the bench. Oh and most of the great stars we all remember Meadowlark and Curly and Gesse Ausbie hate Jackson's guts. Take it from one who knows. How I know is for you to ponder but I do know.

big sandwich said...

Thanks for droppin knowlege. The article was in jest, it sounds like you were offended. How'd you find our site?