12.19.2005

Wrestling sucks


I was told if I didn't post something soon, I'd get my @$$ kicked, so here we are!

So yeah, wrestling sucks. I didn't always think that, but my eyes were opened a few years ago when the biggest wrestling show in the world, RAW, told the story of Kane and his late-girlfriend, Katie Vick.

What? You thought wrestling was supposed to be about two wrestlers pretending to fight? You idiot! It's about character development and turmoil and life struggles like screwing your dead girlfriend.

Oh yeah, did I mention the story of Kane and Katie Vick involved necrophelia? Well it did, and it all climaxed with then-champion Triple H dressing up like Kane and humping a dead chick in a coffin.

But that was years ago now. And it's not even why wrestling sucks. It's just an example of wrestling sucking.

No, wrestling sucks for one reason now and one reason only. WCW and ECW are gone. For the last few years of it's existence, WCW was terrible. And ECW limped along with a shrinking talent roster, lower ratings, no network support, and a truckload of other problems. But the mere existence of those shows forced Vince McMahon's RAW to be good. After all, if it were just as bad as WCW's Nitro, what was to stop anyone from changing the channel?

It's obvious that ol' Vinnie Mac knows this, and he knows WE know this. So he created a "brand extension" where his two main shows, SmackDown and RAW, have seperate rosters and behave like seperate entites in an attempt to simulate two seperate brands. The problem is, they're both the same, and they both suck.

In a way, it's ironic. Vinnie's struggle to defeat his competition is what ultimately resulted in his downfall. Everything he accused WCW of doing wrong, his company does now. The sad thing is that the one group of good guys in the old Ratings War, ECW, was the first to fold. Now all that remains is the goliath of sucktitude that is WWE.

Oh, and RAW's current Marshall Mathers champion doesn't help matters either. Seriously, take one look at the guy and tell me you don't want to smack him in the face with a 2 x 4.

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