Shut up talkin' to me

For my very first bertflex blog, I was going to write about something important in the world of sports. Maybe the exciting lineup of bowl games we'll get to watch later this month, or the latest NFL news. I swear it was gonna be classy...
Then Anna Benson had to open her big fucking mouth.
In case you missed it, the New York Mets are reportedly tryinf to ship pitcher Kris Benson elsewhere. One possible explanation for this is that Kris is a mediocre pitcher making more than mediorce money. I'm sure that somewhere in his 57-61 career record and 4.25 ERA there's a reason why he was offered a $22 million contract, but I can't find it. Another rumor is that the Mets, a classy organization who have never condoned bad behavior, didn't like the fact that Kris' wife Anna was negotiating a deal to be naked in the pages of Playboy. Upon hearing this particular version of the truth, the stripper-turned village idiot wasted no time responding, as the New York Daily News reported yesterday.
"We would never, ever have come to New York if they had said they were going to trade us.... I was Miss [Politically Correct] for the Mets the entire time I was there."
First of all, I can't help but wonder where she gets this "we" nonsense. The New York Mets didn't sign "we," they signed "he." And if they did sign both of you, then maybe you should blame yourself for not negotiating a no-trade-clause. Apparently being married to a baseball player hasn't given her the common sense God gives cheeze whiz, since she thinks that the Mets were going to tell Kris as he was signing his contract that he might be traded next year.
For the record this is Anna's idea of Miss Politically Correct:
-Shortly after Kris signed with the Mets, Anna announced on the Howard Stern show that, were her husband to cheat on her, she would bed everyone in the entire Mets organization (I wonder if Mo Vaughn was still on the team at that point?)
- A month later, in a interview with FHM Magazine, she admitted that baseball is boring to her and that she doesn't watch her husband pitch so much as sit in her private luxury box and get hammered.
- In June, she exclaimed to the New York Daily News: "The Mets will hate it when they hear this, but Kris would've signed sooner and not maid nearly as much if I wasn't there. He's more laid-back about ahit, saying 'what's the difference between $15m and $20m?' I'm like, 'Uh, $5m.'"
-In July, Anna was booted from her table at the World Series of Poker for profanity.
White trash at its finest, folks.
What burns my ass the most, though, is the free pass she gets because everyone thinks she's hot. Guess what...
She's not that hot. She's not Angelina Jolie- Hot or Halle Berry- Hot, which means she's not so hot that she's above an ass-whoopin'. What kind of hot is she? She's Stripper-Hot. Stripper-Hot is hotter than your girlfriend, but it also comes with party bumps. Strippers are hot because you can give them a dollar and they'll rub their boobs in your face. More importantly, they don't talk all the damn time. Unfortunately, the deal to put Anna in Playboy fell through, which means her immediate future includes very little nudity and a whole lot of talking. Until Anna personally delivers a dollar dance to every baseball fan who's had to endure her vapid rants, she needs to take some advice from Black Bush and "shutdafuckup!"

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