The One Post With Poetry

If you haven't noticed (or assumed), there aren't any tags on the right bar that say "poetry" or "deep, meaningful thinking." We couldn't jam mindless commentary about baseball or bacon or chicks down your throats the entire time, could we?

So as a farewell gift, the remaining members of Bertflex (sans Annie Fresh, who was unavailable for comment) came up with some Haiku poetry to really make you think about what you learned from minutes years of reading Bertflex.

We're expecting to hear from Russell Simmons and the Def Poetry Jam crew any minute now. Here is what we came up with:


Makin' movies, songs
Oh my God, it's Russell Crowe!
Fightin' round the world

Big Head:

Biel's ass online
Sandlot Slam up in yo grill
Bacon in my mouth

Chris Black Young mashing
Cheesecake Sabathia sucks
Butley drops F-Bomb

Bert has a goatee
Kansas Shitty here we come
Nintendo failure

Sir has burnt ass hands
World Series Grimace raping
Ice cream cools me down


he steps to the plate
says "iiiiiii'mmmm albert pu-jol-zez...
not. gun. win. dis. game."

krispy kreme plus meat
who wants a donut burger?!
we are fat bastards

ate the entire
wheel of cheese and pooped in the

blood spill on the floor
where is the fucking shamwow?
germans make good stuff

Big Sandwich:

Check out the flex time
Delicious bacon for all
Chicks dig the long ball

R B I baseball
Sir laughs at diabetes
Jah will help you move

The smell of springtime
Fantasy baseball draft time
I'll take Mark Prior

Buffalo Wild Wings
Beer, chicken, big screens with sports
Anything else Sir?


Anonymous said...

sure i'll comment on my own post.

i loved big head's 'nintendo failure' reference. and sammich's 'jah will help you move' line made me incapable of working for a few minutes the other day.

Anonymous said...

I had actually broke out the Crow/Tugger South Park the other day.

Sir said...

All you can eat shrimp
From Red Lobster makes us fat
Skrimps better fear us