The Day I Officially Sold Out

Tonight, December 22nd.

Over the summer when I interviewed Brett Wallace, I dropped the InsideSTL name in order to score the interview. At the time Big Head called me a sellout for not using the prestigious BertFlex name to land said interview. It turns out that the powers that be at Quad Cities hadn't heard of either website (very humbling), so it didn't really matter. I took Big Head's comment as playful bro on bro ribbing (whoa, that sounded a lot better in my mind) and life went on.

A couple months later, I decided to move out of the BFHQ-Hazelwood Office and upgrade to a nicer locale in...West County (gasp!). I'll admit that was 99% sellout material, but the move was much needed and no one has complained about the new BFHQ. Win-win for everyone.

That brings me to the present. I needed to stop by the house to help mom out with a computer-related project she was working on. It was about 8:30pm and I had not eaten in a while, so I checked the fridge and found a half pack of hot dogs. Just my luck, eh? Interestingly enough, the hot dogs looked very familiar to me (yes, I have a special relationship with hot dogs, deal with it). I was pretty sure I had eaten the first half of the pack, but that was probably October/November. I checked the expiration date...and it was 20 days ago.

Side note: mom and dad have done a shitty job of cleaning out the fridge without me around to eat everything.

To many of you, this wouldn't be much of a decision. Throw those MF'ers away. And to a few of you, you wouldn't even have hot dogs in your possession anyway, so you people don't understand my dilemma either.

I stood there thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

I started to open the package; thought for another moment.

And in the trash they went.

'Tis be a sad day for me. I don't know if it's the fancy West County lifestyle I live. I don't know if it's a health-conscious thing (wait - I had McDonald's two nights ago so that can't be it). And I don't know if it's a "I got money, I can buy some new hot dogs! I'm a man! I'm 27!" thing.

Whatever it is, I can officially be called a sell-out. I shall still eat hot dogs until my dying day. But they better be fresh. They better be delicious. And they better be the expensive brand.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jahn Mahrrell Hot Dogs!

/In best Mike Shannon Voice. Shitfaced, of course.

Sell. Out.