Callin' You Out: Flexitarians

I’m the first to admit that I don’t understand vegetarianism. I mean, let’s look at the facts:

(a) Meat is delicious.
(b) Those animals totally had it coming, anyway.
(c) If you want to climb the food chain, you’ve got to grow a pair (of opposable thumbs).

Up until now I’ve been willing to coexist with vegetarians peacefully, mostly because it means more bacon for me. But now some meat-eaters (heh) are waffling (mmm, waffles) and going part-veg, and they’re trying to co-opt the Flex’s good name:

Not in my back yard, chief. The Flex proudly stands for baseball and sexual harassment and mild physical violence and crude language and adult situations... and meat. And as long as I'm around, that's not going to change.