BertFlex Exclusive! Erik Hashrake Scouting Report

Loyal Flexicans know that we love us some prospects. If there's a 3% chance that some pimply-faced Oregon prep shortstop might be awesome one day, sign us up. Granted, with those odds, you have to cast a pretty wide net to hit the jackpot even once. That's why we employ the best fleet of scouts that the Mad Librarian's poker winnings can buy.

And every once in a while, our scouts turn up a doozy. Introducing outfielder Erik Hashrake.

One of our scouts, "Panama Hat" Harvey Chambliss, found Hashrake playing both ends of a doubleheader against some grizzled veterans in Florissant, MO. The Hat's notes follow:

Spent most of the pre-game warmup sitting alone under a tree. One of his teammates informed me that he was downing a "Jakt and Tan," a combination of creatine and Bud Select.

Not a real "team" player. Didn't talk to his teammates much. Suckerpunched the umpire's wife. Knocked over a kid for "eyeballing" him.

Misplayed multiple balls in the outfield. Bad enough that Chris Duncan could have taught him a lesson. Has the defensive skills to make a great DH.

He's 28, but only 18 if you don't count the last decade. Projects as a Steve Balboni-type without the Italian-ness.

Bat outweighs all the minuses. Put on a hitting display not seen since Nolan Ryan beat the bejeebus out of Robin Ventura. Knows how to watch his own bombs and flips a bat with the best of them.

Take that, Kevin Goldstein. Suck one, Baseball America. We just found ourselves a prospect. And it's only a matter of time before we get to say "we told you so." Stay tuned for more on this developing phenom, who we're already calling "the Developing Phenom."