Next Up for Some Act Right Juice: Lady Good Face

So Sweetcheeks and I are watching a little Sunday afternoon baseball, and up strolls Jason Giambi to the plate.

"Oh. My. God," Lady Face said. "That thing is horrible!"

That "thing" was Mr. Giambi's mustache, which has taken on a life of its own, much like Oscar Gamble's Afro or Brian Fantana's left teste. I tried to patiently explain that, no, mustaches aren't just for porn stars anymore. I even reminded her that Papa Good Face has been rockin' a soup-strainer since the Nixon administration, but to no avail.

"Well, here's the bottom line," I said. "The mustache is Merkah. From Theodore Roosevelt to Wilford Brimley to Ron Jeremy, great Merkans have sported the dirtlip. And if you don't appreciate that, you don't appreciate Merka."

As always, she admitted that I was right and that she had been terribly misguided. That's what estrogen'll do, I guess.

Anyway, to learn more about how you can better love freedom, visit the Mustache Hall of Fame.


Mad Librarian said...

I now expect you to grow a 'stash immediately... if you can.

Anonymous said...

you don't need the long explanation to tell her the importance of mustaches in 'mericah. next time just say:

"are you wanna dem dixie chicks? if you don't like it, yeh can get out!" (point your thumb behind you)