The Road (Trip) To Omaha

This past weekend, I made my second annual pilgrimage to Omaha for the College World Series, joining BertFlex contributor the Biggest of Heads for the festivities. If you've never been to the College World Series, there's really three things you need to know: poon, ping, and bad jerseys. To get this post started off on the right foot, we have the obligatory poon collage below. You're welcome.

Since Fullerton didn't make it this year, there were no Kevin Costner sightings. However, there was a celebrity even BIGGER than Costner... Sulk Hogan!!! That's right, folks. Sulk Hogan was at the College World Series in the flesh. We even got a picture of him as he sat behind us in the stands. What do you mean - his name is "Hulk Hogan"? I don't think you should be messing with the Sulkamaniac like that. If you know what's good for you, you'll just take your vitamins and say your prayers... and apparently get some fresh squeezed lemonade from the concession stand, brother. I can't decide if this guy is an absolute tool or a complete bad ass for going all in on the Hulkster look. I guess if I could pull it off this well, I'd do it too.


Since I'm a moron and hate sunscreen, the tops of my hands looked like raw meat from being sunburned. Being the resourceful college graduate that I am, I decided to start a new trend at the College World Series and picked up some awesome gardening gloves to protect my hands. Depending on who asked, the joke was that they were either my Ass-kicking Gloves or my Groping Gloves. In reality they are just my batting gloves because all I do is rake. Just look at those beauties; I was beating the chicks off with a stick all weekend!

Since this is an NCAA event there was no alcohol allowed on site. I mean, obviously these college athletes would never condone something as vile as drinking, especially since some of them are under age. Luckily, the security guards and cops were pretty cool for the most part as just about everyone was walking around outside the ballpark with open containers. Big Head was among the ones partaking in an adult beverage or 5 when we were walking up to the gate Tuesday morning. Even though BH was intending to pitch the remnants of his beer before getting to the gate, Security Guard Jerkface McPartyPooper threw him out of line and took his ticket away (a general admission ticket of which we had more, mind you) before even getting to the gate. In what has to at least tie a record, Big Head was ejected from the ballpark before entering the ballpark. Bravo, sir! We walked around to the other entrance and got in with no hassle.

The Pellegrino Curse continued this weekend as I bought a Rice Owls hat and they, in the words of ESPN's Mike Patrick, were "0-2 and a BBQ" in Omaha. Last year, I bought a Fullerton hat and they too were eliminated by Tuesday and didn't even make it this year. I'm sorry Rice, I really am. Then again, you did give up 17 runs to Fresno State AND blow a 3 run lead in the bottom of the ninth to LSU so I can't really take all the blame for this one. Good thing for one Mr. Cole St. Clair that the MLB draft was the week before since he allowed six runs in 2.2 innings to lose an elimination game that the Owls led 5-0.

Big anti-dap to the Rosenblatt ticket takers for completely effing up admission to the Saturday night Georgia - Florida State game. The early game ran long and by the time everyone was leaving the park, the line for the night game was already long. Apparently the powers that be decided it would be best to start the night game on time even though there were still about 8,000 people (not exaggerating) in line waiting to get in for the premier game of the day. There were even reserved ticket holders waiting to get in after the 3rd inning. We gave up on getting in the door after the 4th since there were still probably 2-3,000 people waiting to get into the general admission section. Way to eff it up, guys. We went home and watched in on tv, then I blew Big Head up in RBI Baseball (Reggie Jackson and Dick Schofield FO' LIFE!).

Inspired by the bad food posts on Bert Flex recently, combined with that fact that I'm a fat ass, I decided to go to war with a Half Pound Hotdog. Just look at that beast! It was like a double-jumbo dog, crossed with death on a stick. I took it down in four minutes which is a pretty good time for someone who is not on the Major League Eating tour. Yes I know you could have eaten it in 30 seconds, then used the remaining time to have sex with the concession stand girl; thanks for sharing, Suck Norris.

We have a history of being highly offensive on this site, and you've got to hear what was probably the most offensive comment of the weekend. So these girls who look like they're about 12 walk by completely covered in purple body paint; on their clothes, their faces, everything, as you can see by the pic. Since Big Head and I have no love lost for LSU fans, both of us were commenting on the choice of attire/paint for these possibly under-age pooners. After a moment of quiet reflection, Big Head drops "It looks like they were all raped by Grimace." Game. Over. I knew we had to get a picture of him standing next to them. The girls were all excited to get their picture taken with an internet celebrity and radio superstar like Big Head. Too bad they had to wait until this post to find out why we wanted their picture. Thank you, ladies. You stay classy, Big Head.

The nasty jersey crew was in full effect at Rosenblatt as you can see from the collage below. Yes that IS a Stanford Mike Mussina jersey AND a Trevor Hoffman Camo jersey. The guy rocking the Columbus Clippers jersey was all too eager to have his pic taken. Thank you all for entertaining us.
Oh yeah, there was also some college baseball played. Whatever, that wasn't nearly as interesting as these great stories. If you want more awesome pictures from Omaha, come get some: College World Series 2008 Photo Gallery

**Co-Editor's note/update: Sorry Sir, I had to put this picture in the post. It is too good to be buried in our photo gallery. Pretty much sums up all Nebraska fans in one fell swoop.

-HMW