Who's Shitty

Hello ladies and gentlemen welcome to the first in-season installment of the "Who's Shitty" fantasy report, your premier source for fantasy baseball knowledge. Tony Pellegrino, webmaster and fantasy expert will check the mailbag and answer all your fantasy questions. We have picked five more questions, so hopefully yours will get answered. If you're lucky, Tony might call your favorite fantasy player "Shitty," which will automatically make your team even better (see: Pellegrino Curse in the bertflex glossary).

In typical fantasy guy fashion, here is a badass picture of Tony Pellegrino. Note that we did not include the shorts that Tony was wearing, due to "too much leg exposure." This is for your own protection. You are not protected from the guns, because there is no defense for guns like that. Well, besides change-ups and sliders.

"Straight-ball, I hit it VERY much. Curve-ball; bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come. I offer him cigar and rum. He will come, as long as Josh doesn't get to it first."

On to this week's questions:

1. Big Head ('03 Benzo) - I own(ed) Frank Thomas in a MASH League. Comfort me.

Clubhouse Cancer Frank Thomas can still Mash, especially now that he's an A. I actually read a blog about how the A's should sign both Thomas and Bonds and have the ultimate Mashy DH Platoon. I think that would be awesome and give the idea my full support. Since Bonds is a big girl and doesn't miss baseball anyway then I think the Big Skirt should come play for my slow-pitch softball team.

2. Big Head (still ridin') - Speaking of bad 1baggers, how about Daric Barton? Shitty??

He's had a shitty start, but he's not yet shitty. I think people have too high expectations for him. He's Hal Morris, people. In 2010, he'll hit .320 with 20 bombs. Leave the kid alone already. He's not going to hit a brazillion jacks. Remember, he used to be a catcher so numbers like that would make him a stud backstop. At first, he's merely "useful". Daric Barton and Conor Jackson might be the same person in the end.

3. ELF (MO-side) - Dear Master of Mash – Cliff Lee and Zach Greinke are 1-2 in the AL in ERA. Which one of them is more “fo’ rill”?

To answer this question, I'll cite my friend* Rany Jazayerli from BaseballProspectus.com...

In 31.2 innings, Cliff Lee has allowed 11 hits, walked 2, struck out 29, and has a 0.28 ERA. Since 1956, do you know how many pitchers had made three straight starts with 8+ innings, <=3 hits, <=1 walk, and 8+ strikeouts? Here's the list, which I have put in alphabetical order for your convenience:
Cliff Lee.
Here's that list again, sorted by last name:
Lee, Cliff.
That's it. Lee's stretch of pitching is unmatched in at least 50 years, and quite possibly ever, when you consider that strikeouts tend to decrease in frequency as you go back in time.

*- Rany (or Jaza for those of us in the industry) and I aren't really friends. I've lied to you. It's ok, really.

4. Big Sandwich ($5 @ subway) - Mangy Corpas has been complete poop this year and has already lost his closer job. After watching his nasty stuff last year can you explain why he has screwed my fantasy bullpen? (And you can't say it's because he pitches in Coors smart guy)

Is everyone ready to play my favorite game "Let's! Get! Dorky!"? Good, let's begin. His K/9 this year is 3.7 compared to 6.7 last year. His K/BB last year was 2.9, this year it's 0.7. His BABIP is only .304 so that seems to be ok and is a regression to the mean from his superb .262 BABIP last year. It's early, but his average heater has dropped from 93.1 MPH last season to 91.1 MPH this year. The amazing thing to me is that, this season, 42% of his baserunners have come around to score, compared to 20% last year. Basically, he's lost a couple of ticks off his heater which is leading to him not missing any bats this season. He is paying a high price for it and if he can regain that lost velocity, I think he could turn it around.

5. shaun (north side) - I recall a certain fantasy "expert" mocking my pick of Adam Wainwright in a money league a month ago. Any regrets on your mockery, or should I be selling high on the Pain Train?

Wainwright's numbers are as deceiving as the Cardinals first place standing were last week. Wainwright is a good pitcher, but he's not going to win the Cy Young this year. He's 3-1 and that won't last with this ballclub. He doesn't yet strike out enough guys to be a true ace but he does keep the walks down. If he can take the next step and up the K's while keeping the Walks where they are, I might be regretting my mockery. HOWEVA, his BABIP is .241 so far this year and he's due for a "correction" sooner rather than later.

Bonus Question:
HMW (mowing T. McKernan's lawn) - Tony, I read last week that Megan Fox was named the "World's Sexiest Woman" by FHM. I don't know much about this young lass, but her pictures are top notch. Give me a scouting report on Miss Fox and some projections. Is she more Ben Grieve #1 (1998) or A-Rod #1 (1995)?

I don't know if I can really get behind this pick. She doesn't have that projectability I'm really looking for with a #1 overall pick. She lacks a true "plus" tool that would allow me to get really excited about her. Due to that, she has kind of an "ordinary" look about her, and not the hot kind of ordinary you get from someone like an Alyson Hannigan, who I list as one of her comparables. I think this was a need-based pick, to try and generate a spark on offense for FHM, rather than taking the best player available. In my mock draft, I had Alba, Hazell, and Johansson as my top 3, so I was shocked when they went with Fox. She's definitely in Grieve territory. Megan Fox... Shitty.

If you would like to ask Tony "Who's Shitty?" please send your questions to haymang@yahoo.com. Tony Pellegrino's advice should be taken with caution, but he has finished in 2nd place in numerous fantasy leagues over the years (none recently) and gets paid to analyze baseball players, so he's kind of an expert, using that term loosely.


Anonymous said...

wait, i thought jessica alba was on the DL (pregnant), thus ineligible for mock drafts and rankings? is this an '08 thing, or body of work?

ha ha...body...hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Who's off the DL first- Mark Mulder or Jessica Alba?