Introduction to the Tournament of Death

Late last year, I received an email from our very own Sir that had a subject line of "Maybe my best idea EVAR!" I usually trust Sir but I was a little skeptical this time. Until I read this:

So I'm sitting here at my desk, eating beef jerky, thinking that beef jerky might be in the top 10 of anything, ever. But how does one determine something like that? Easy, TOURNAMENT!

We decided to make that idea come to life, and here it is, now that the NCAA tournament is almost over. Same format and everything, except there is no play-in game, or NIT bracket for the greatest things ever. The first step was to lay out a few rules on what we include in the field of 64:

*Leave any sex-related stuff out. In the whole scheme of things, something special like beef jerky cannot compete with boobs, pussy, hoes gettin off, Jessica Biel's ass, etc.

*Historical objects and figures will be thrown out too. We all agree that Mickey Mantle and bombing Japan is significant, but I don't think it fits here. Unless a Mickey Mantle bombing Japan video game is made...then we have something there.

*Tangible items only (physical objects) - no theories, accomplishments, feelings, etc.

*Things like "the internet" or "jokes" are too generic and boring.

*No emailing or making dumb comments about how we left your favorite thing out of the tournament. It took a lot of careful planning and we don't want to be crushed when we realized we left out something awesome.

So there are the rules. I'll admit, we are neglecting some cool things, but the tournament we came up with is stellar and I think you'll have fun playing along.

Voting will be done by a select panel of experts. Not that we don't trust you, but we don't want some assclown stuffing the ballot box and ruining the integrity of the tournament. Plus it's a lot easier the way we have it set up. Each round will be voted on by the panel, all friends of the site who have been invited to an exclusive Yahoo! Group. Yup, it is that big.

So after coming up with an amazing field of 64 things, we really wanted to create a catchy name for this tournament. In true Bertflex fashion, we came up with this:

The Super Xtreme Asskickin Monster Truck Firestorm Tournament of Death

A preview of each regional's matchup (of course we have regionals-what, do you think we're lazy?) will be revealed throughout the week. After the votes are cast, the results will be posted to Bertflex for you to follow along. Once a champion is crowned, we will throw a party to celebrate that "thing." I can pretty much guarantee that a drunken version of "One Shining Moment" will be sung by a member of the Bertflex staff.

The bracket is set, and each region is ready for tip-off. We'll see you tomorrow with a preview for the Hazelwood Regional.

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