Rise To Mediocrity: The Movie

I originally wrote this article as a second point-counterpoint with Josh for the Hardcore League blog, but 7 months later, he has yet to respond. Maybe my point was so indisputable, Josh couldn’t come up with a rebuttal. Or maybe this was case #4718224 of “Josh being Josh.” Either way, here is my new vision, a movie about Justin’s heroic 2007 Fantasy Baseball season – Rise To Mediocrity.

I’ve seen Big Sandwich (Justin) play fantasy baseball since 2002. The results haven’t been pretty to say the least. After some horrible showings in York’s league from ‘02-‘04, he finally cashed in during the 2005 season in a different league. That year, we expanded to 3 fantasy leagues, and unfortunately the league he won doesn’t look too impressive on paper (6 team, deep AL only league). I can vouch that his team was loaded and he did very well in the draft and through free agent pickups. That is, until the last week of the season when he blew the lead, only to win it back on the final day.

I’m not sure what happened last winter, but Justin came out swinging in 2007. He finished 1st in a side league that he created. The level of competition was questionable, but he beat me out, so that is saying something. He finished second in the inaugural Hardcore League, holding on to first for a majority of the year. And in a third league, he finished second. This was a huge improvement over previous seasons, and it was hard to make fun of him too much while he was ahead of everyone in the standings.

Justin drafted quality teams, but like most successful fantasy owners, luck played a key role. Unless he really thought Ken Griffey and Kenny Lofton were going to be impact players all year.

Because of his past failures listed above, and one really memorable one, I think Disney should make a movie recapping Justin’s 2007 rise to fantasy excellence. It is the epitome of the underdog story. It would be like our own version of Rocky except without a homoerotic race vs. Apollo Creed on the beach. I have already booked Survivor to make the soundtrack, so we’ve got the ball rolling.

Disney hasn’t called me back about this project, but I’ve got some actors lined up in case the movie is a go:


Eminem as Justin

Bob Wickman as Tony

Jonah Hill as Thomas

Kelly Clarkson as Beth

WWE Wrassler Trevor Murdoch as Josh

Yi Jianlan as Shaun

Daniel Craig as Jamie

I cannot guarantee that this will gross over $100 million, but I know there won’t be a dry eye in the theater once the closing credits are rolling. I think it will inspire a lot of people…to do a lot of heavy drinking and rioting.

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