FutureSmack: A Warning to Our Future Trivia Night Opponents

Dear Sir or Madam,

The members of this website have participated in numerous trivia nights over the past few years. For the most part we've held our own, but we come out on the losing end almost every time. I recall winning the inaugural Delta Sigma Pi Trivia Night (2002ish) in which we each took home the illustrious 1st place prize of a Trivial Pursuit board game. Since then we've been on an ugly losing streak. But before you go crowning us the David Duval of Trivia Nights, you need to realize that we are still in the baby stages of our TN careers.

10 years from now, it is going to be sick how dominant we are at Trivia Nights. You enjoy your moment in the sun now, but seriously - in 10 years, we're dropping the hammer. We admit, that currently we lack the "life experience" to match wits with people in their late 30's and 40's. That's cool...we get it. We'll pay our dues now, and wreck your life later.

The crazy thing is, we might not even need 10 years to hit our peak. In our mid-twenties, we are always in contention; multiply our smartness exponentially and the results are scary. You don't know when it's coming, but the moment it does, I hope to be there to rub it in yo' face! Seeing you in pain and agony over trivia beatdown after trivia beatdown will bring me great joy in my life.

And once we hit those golden years, watch the F out - we'll be winning all your money, then make it rain. We'll be taking your wives and girlfriends, probably make it rain again. We'll even post messages on your kids' myspace pages, telling you how much it is raining because their punk ass parents must don't know nothin' 'bout trivia!

A wise man once said: you think you're so smart, with your dago mustache and greasy hair. Win as much as you can now, because soon enough you'll be in the loser pool with the drunk 20-somethings who don't know shit and the old people who are out of touch - that's right, the LOSER POOL, brother!

My Message Is Clear.


If NWA ever rolled into a trivia night, it would probably look like this. These guys carry more guns though.

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