Unkie Walt

At least one General Manager has had his head on straight this postseason, and thankfully, it's good ol' Walt Jocketty. Unkie Walt hasn't overpaid for Juan Pierre, Ted Lilly, Alfonso "Backwards K" Soriano, or even JD Boo. One GM that has a small tendancy to over pay? Beantown's own Theo Epstein. Between playing with his Speak and Spell and watching Real World/Road Rules Challenge, Theo decided to pick up the phone. Who was on the other end? The silver hair wonder, Walt Jocketty.

Walt Jocketty: Wow Theo! $70 million for JD Drew?
Theo Epstein: Yeah, we had it laying around. Found some of it in the Green Monster. Looked like Manny left a paycheck in there when he must have climbed in there once last year.
WJ: You know, I just wanted to give you some advice on JD. He’s terrible.
TE: I know you are, but what am I?
WJ: What?
TE: Walt, do you like Legos?
WJ: (mumbles)
TE: Legos. Do you like Legos?
WJ: I don’t care about Legos. I just wanted to warn you tha---
TE: I’m building a ship for show and tell tomorrow. John Henry grades me on my projects. I meant to add you on MySpace, but I couldn’t find you. What’s your screen name?
WJ: My what?
TE: Screen name on MySpace. Jeez Walt! Mine is Beantowngeek.
WJ: Look, Theo…I really don’t give a shit about Legos and your ship or project or whatever the hell you kids do these days. JD isn’t worth it.
TE: Walt?
WJ: What!
TE: Do you want to say bye to Manny? We had a sleep over last night. **Hey Manny, Walt wants to say hi. And you left your sleeping bag over here. I’ll get Finding Nemo back to you before Christmas.** Ok Walt? Manny had to go. He does this all the time. He just gets up and wants to leave. So what were we talking about? Oh, did you hear that Steinbrenner’s daughter dumped Mike Mussina’s uncle’s cousin? I heard it from Ted Lilly, who heard it from Jaret Wright on his way out.

WJ: Theo, I am trying to do you a favor. JD plays less than Shawn Green on Yom Kippur. We signed Chris Carpenter for cheaper than what you just signed JD for, and Carp won the Cy Young! You are an idiot.
TE: Did you hear that? It sounded like someone picked up... Mom?
Mom: Theo, come down for dinner. I need you to set the table.
TE: Mom, I’ll be down in a second. Can you pour my milk in my sip cup?
Mom: Theo, you didn’t do your chores. I have to take away your allowance for the week.
TE: Dammit!
Mom: Watch your mouth young man! You’re grounded. Get down here right now. Who are you on the phone with anyway?
WJ: Hello Mrs. Epstein.
Mom: Is this that Walter boy you talked to Theo? I just love him. Why don’t you come over for dinner Walter?
TE: It’s meatloaf, Walt. She makes some great meatloaf.
WJ: I really wish that I could, but I need to find some pitchers.
TE: Why don’t you go after Antonio Alfonseca? He has six fingers. Could you just imagine having six fingers? That would be pretty cool.
WJ: Too bad he’s terrible. Even Jim Hendry got rid of him. I don’t want any Cubs rejects. You can only go to the well so many times and be successful.
TE: Could you dig up Greg Maddux?
WJ: It just came across the wire that he signed with the Padres. I need some damn pitching. I just don’t know about Kip Wells as a number two.
Mom: Theo, get down here. Dinner is done!
TE: I’ll be down in a minute Mom! Hey Walt, look for me on Xbox around ten. I know it’s a school night, but I need to play Gears of War. I’m right at the end. Maybe we can Co-op and beat General Raam?
WJ: What in the hell are you talking about?
TE: Did I happen to leave my PSP in the box after the World Series in ’04? I still haven’t been able to find it.
WJ: No clue. That Busch Stadium isn’t around anymore. We moved next door to the new Busch.
TE: Wow, two places with the same name? HA, that’s smart! What is Busch anyway?
WJ: Beer Theo. Beer. You will be able to buy it when you turn 21.