Kenny Rogers' Pearls of Wisdom

The scene: Lakeland, FL, 2006 Detroit Tigers Spring Training. A clubhouse conversation between veteran cheater Kenny Rogers and young fireballer Nate Robertson...
Nate Robertson: What's that shit on your chest?
Kenny Rogers: Crisco, Bardol, Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeƱo up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just... wipe my nose.
Nate Robertson: You put snot on the ball?
Kenny Rogers: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.

1 comment:

big sandwich said...

Thomas said he heard in an interview with Todd Jones, that TJ said that shit on Kenny's hand could have been chocolate cake. If this is the case, I want a chocolate cake eating contest between the the gambler and TP Splooshmanzedah.