10.23.2006

Kenny Rogers' Pearls of Wisdom

The scene: Lakeland, FL, 2006 Detroit Tigers Spring Training. A clubhouse conversation between veteran cheater Kenny Rogers and young fireballer Nate Robertson...
Nate Robertson: What's that shit on your chest?
Kenny Rogers: Crisco, Bardol, Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curve ball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close I'll rub a little jalapeƱo up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just... wipe my nose.
Nate Robertson: You put snot on the ball?
Kenny Rogers: I haven't got an arm like you, kid. I have to put anything on it I can find. Someday you will too.

1 comment:

Big J said...

Thomas said he heard in an interview with Todd Jones, that TJ said that shit on Kenny's hand could have been chocolate cake. If this is the case, I want a chocolate cake eating contest between the the gambler and TP Splooshmanzedah.