6.05.2006

Who's Shitty

Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another installment of the "Who's Shitty" fantasy report, your premier source for fantasy baseball opinions. Tony Pellegrino, webmaster and fantasy expert will check the mailbag and answer all your fantasy questions. We have picked five more questions this week, so hopefully yours will get answered. If you're lucky, Tony might call your favorite fantasy player "Shitty," which will automatically make your team even better (see: Pellegrino Curse in the bertflex glossary).


Just like our friends at Yahoo Sports, here is a badass picture of two members of this site doing their best "Likes To Fight Guy" impersonation. We'll let it slide today, but next time you need to buy your ticket to the Gun Show before looking at this picture.


Let's get to the questions...

1. (Roger--Houston, TX) Don't you wish you were me?

Let's see... I'm going to list facts about my pitching this season and compare them to your situation.
  • I'm already 3-0, you don't pitch for a month
  • My team's winning percentage is .667, yours is .500
  • I'm hitting .625, you'll never hit .250
  • My team has a better chance to make the playoffs than yours
  • I never have to go on the road with my team
  • Albert Pujols doesn't play in my league so he only has a 2% chance of eating my soul, just ask Brad Lidge about how that feels
  • I'm undefeated in my All-Star Game appearances

So, Jerkface, I think the facts above speak for themselves. I mean seriously, just look at the picture above. I'm just better than you.

2. (Jeremy--the STL) Todd Coffey, Jorge Julio, Kenny Ray...this closer-go-round is killing me! Who is the real deal? Who should I pick up?

Dude, those guys all suck and none of them are going to help you that much in saves to compensate for what the rest of their numbers do to you. The only one who is remotely a "good pitcher" is Coffey. He's been solid in the Reds setup role and could grab maybe 20 saves the rest of the way if the Reds hang around a while. If you look back to previous "Who's Shitty"s, I told you a month ago to go get Coffey but you didn't listen. I listened to my own awesome advice and now I have the Reds closer-of-the-moment and you don't.

3. (Howie--NYC) Tony, I have opened three briefcases to see what young pitchers I'm going to ask you about. All are in my free agent pool: Zack Duke, Jered Weaver, and Cole Hamels. Tony...my question is this...Shitty or Not Shitty?

After my expert analysis, I think Zack Duke is officially SHITTY. I hate to say it because I liked the kid last year but he's shown me nothing this season. He supposedly has a problem concentrating on the mound so the Pirates need to put him on Ridalin or something.

I like Weaver alot (picked him up in one of my leagues) and think he could be pretty good in the coming years. I don't know how much he'll contribute this year but as the Angels keep falling, he'll get a shot. He's ready now but I doubt he'll dominate consistantly this season. He'll be better than his brother but that's not hard. I personally think Jeff Weaver is a bit of a headcase so hopefully Jered has a better head on his shoulders.

Hamels is supposed to be the real deal but Philly rushed him through the system too quickly this season. He should just now be getting the call to AAA instead of the Phils. Rumor has it that he was the centerpiece in a trade for Dontrelle and they rushed Hamels to the majors to showcase him, now he's hurt. Once he comes back, he'll get you K's but probably not much else. Philly has Madsen and Gavin on the staff and, though Hamels is better than them, they've been up longer and actually give them a better chance to win games this season.

4. (Big Head--Omaha, CWS) Tony, living in Omaha, everyone is hyped about the College World Series to start today. What teams do you see advancing to Omaha from each super-regional?

Here are my Super-Regional matchups, with those advancing to Omaha marked with asterisks:

  • Clemson* v. Oklahoma St
  • GaTech* v. Notre Dame
  • Fullerton* v. Pepperdine
  • North Carolina* v. SoMiss
  • Rice* v. Oklahoma
  • Georgia* v. Evansville
  • Tulane* v. Miami
  • Texas* v. Oregon St

I encourage everyone who reads this site to watch as much college baseball as you can over the next couple of weeks. The college game is vastly underrated nationally but the College World Series is a great event. Next year, there will be a pilgrimage made to Omaha. Mark your calendars now.

5. (Stanley--Edmonton or Raleigh) Remember me? I'm still around even though I'm hard to find on your TV sets. Tony, where will I be residing in a couple weeks?

How the mighty have fallen. Edmonton? Raleigh? I can only name two players on these teams combined, and that's because they happen to be recent ex-Blues. The only thing that could have saved the playoffs this year was a run by one or two of the "Original Six" franchises. All these teams with no history or such a small population that no one identifies with them have really hurt out-of-market support for the league. Sure, the Oilers have history and it would be a great story to see them reclaim the Cup. Sadly, that hasn't been enough to generate bandwagon interest.

If Carolina was still Hartford, this would be one of the most watched finals in recent memory. Instead, the Stanley Cup Finals will have to battle to draw a better share than regular season WNBA games and the Women's College World Series (CAT OSTERMAN!). I personally blame the rules changes and the Blues being awful for the reasons I didn't follow hockey AT ALL this year. I also think alot of us learned that we can live without it during the lockout and, while it's nice to have it back, it's not a part of my life like it was before the strike. I used to watch 50-60 Blues games a year and probably another 10 out-of-market games on ESPN, plus another 15 during the playoffs. I've watch a grand total of 5 games this season. 5. 1 less than the number of University of Illinois hockey games I attended this season. The point of this rant is: Hockey, you're SHITTY.

If you would like to ask Tony "Who's Shitty?" please send your questions to shaunfanclub@hotmail.com. Tony Pellegrino's advice should be taken with caution, but he has finished in 2nd place in numerous fantasy leagues over the years, so he's kind of an expert, using that term loosely.

1 comment:

Big Head said...

If Fullerton makes it to Omaha, Kevin Costner comes in town and stays at the shittiest hotel in the area called the Settle Inn. I'm hoping to catch Erin Andrews in a wet T-shirt contest.