Sandwich here with a great story before I hit the road for Bonnaroo. In this day and age man is driven by many things: desire, poonany, chicken wings, and of course alcohol. This story involves the latter.

The World Cup of Soccer is happening, right now....today....somewhere....seriously. I, like most Americans, don't care and cannot watch soccer for more than 2 minutes because it's SO FUCKING BORING. Anyway, I just read that Trinidad and Tobago play England tomorrow AND if T&T beat the Brits, all 23 players and their coach will each receive a barrel of specially aged rum! That's right, 64 gallons of the rumpelstiltzskin to do whatever you want. I personally would get buck-ass nekid, jump in, and pickle myself for about an hour. Upon reading this article, Bertflex.com's own, Malt Liqourman is boarding a plane for Nuremberg, where the match is to be played.

Jah (after taking 14 smoke breaks from the parking lot to the field) - "I'm a quarter Trinidad and an eighth Tobago-ish. You must let me play! For God sakes man, 64 gallons of rum would last me 8 hours!"

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