Now that the College World Series is over, I can safely say that I had an epiphany of sorts. I realized a couple of things outside of baseball. A). I never want a daughter. I know that I am moving into 'creepy old guy' category at 24 just for looking at high school girls. If the way high school girls have changed their looks in just the ten years since we were all in high school, I don't even want to imagine what will happen when I finally have an accident child, then add the 14 years onto that. Sure, the CWS had several hot college girls, but I would say that 50% of the girls I thought were college aged weren't. B). Omaha is great for college sports. We don't have much else up here, and the O-Royals couldn't fill Rosenblatt if they were handing out $50 bills to every fan. Creighton, UNO hockey, the cocksuckers..err I mean Huskers are all supported fairly well. Omaha has the volleyball and wrestling national championships coming in the next five years, along with the CWS staying in town. C). There are huge bags of douche that work at Rosenblatt. I almost got banned from the 'blatt on the first Monday of the tourney cause I apparently cut in line. I thought it was a Chinese cut, but who am I to say what's what. Plus they destroy every beach ball that they see in the stands. D). Awful tattoos. If you're going to go with the area code tat make sure it's a cool area code. I saw a fat mexican kid with '402' tatted down his calf. I wanted to stab him in the jaw just for that alone, not because he said sour apple is the best Jolly Ranch flavor (Dane Cook reference). Couldn't imagine rocking the '618' across my beer gut. Also, if you have a tattoo on your neck or face, you had better be pretty comfortable with the job you're in right now, because you aren't getting another.

What does bobblehead Ozzie Guillen think of Rosenblatt security? - "Fag homo piece of shit"

Another thing that kind of made me feel weird was watching grown men get autographs from college players. There should be a rule against this because I think all of these so-called 'men' were developing man crushes on college players. Very strange and awkward to watch.

The best thing about the series are all the vendors outside. There are a ton of bars and beer tents, and the parties would put Len Bias to shame. I do marketing, and here is my plan for the NC-double A; serve beer. The NCAA would get a huge kickback if they served beer. Hmmm, lets think about this; college kids like beer, but the NCAA has such an upstanding reputation to keep (by 'upstanding' I really mean 'terrible'), so instead of watching these kids get tanked in the stands and keep the money, the kids just go across the street and the NCAA doesn't get shit. You can drink beer at basketball games indoors, but when you need an ice cold frosty one on a hot ass day, there isn't one in sight. I guess Mike Shannon will never come see the CWS for that reason alone.

A few of the celebs that came to Omaha; Cal and Billy 'Fuckface' Ripken, UNC coach Roy Williams, Henry Winkler, Barry Williams, the dad from Family Ties (I think. I sat behind him and it looked like him), Kevin Costner, Lou Brock, Bob Gibson (who actually lives here), Robin Ventura, and others. I met Mike Patrick playing blackjack at our casino, and Erin Andrews is for sure a top five on the 'I Need to Bang' list. If I was a kid on the Make a Wish program, I know that I'd fly to Bristol and throw a couple jell-o shots Erin Andrews' way and watch them panties drop. Also met Miles Brand, who is the NCAA prez now, but he is the one that was well known for firing Bobby Knight. I also got to meet Omaha's new women's football team. It definately brought up the dyke ratio.

Oh well, now we have to wait another year to hear the annoying 'ping' sound. At least I can go get shitty and boo the ballgirl at the Royals game.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

By the way, that is the worst bobblehead I've ever seen. Looks more like mix of Scott Erickson/Mark Gubicza than Ozzie Guillen. I dig the mullet though.