Hooligan Heaven

I have a message for Mr. Maltliquorman and Sir: When Shaun asks you to go to a ballgame, you say "yes"--every time. No punking out. What transpired last night was one of the best moments I've ever seen at Busch Stadium.

Starting from the beginning, the Gross Jersey Patrol caught not one, not two...but three of their biggest offenders ever. The photo below is not photoshopped, nor am I referring to the Mac Wire jersey. That jersey actually brings some credibility to the foursome. Barely.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, not only was Georgie Dubs in town on Wednesday...Gary Bennett's family was in town! Actually, I cannot confirm those are his family members, but there is no other logical explanation of what transpires in the photo to the left.

And no that is not my finger pointing to the lady in the middle, but some other brave soul who dared to walk 4 feet behind the Bennett jerseys. I think I overheard him saying, "Ewww! I hope nobody takes a picture of me standing next to that (point)."

Sorry buddy.

So after zooming through 7 quick innings of low scoring, well-pitched baseball (by Chris Carpenter and Jake Westbrook), we had to sit through a dreadful top of the 8th that pretty much lasted 45 minutes. You would have thought that more than 3 runners scored for the Indians, but considering the Cardinals used 4 relievers that inning...

LaRussa-ball at its finest.

By the way, when does the Chris Perez countdown begin?

On to the bottom of the ninth. After barely deciding NOT to leave, we stayed to watch So Taguchi begin the rally by hitting a ball 400 feet in the air, and 6 feet forward. Luckily the sure-handed Kelly Shoppach was sitting behind home plate and decided to drop the ball. Great hustle by So, who was on second base because the ball took a minute to bounce off the moon and come back down. Had the great Barry Bonds hit that ball, he would have been in the shower by the time it bounced off Shoppach's glove.

Sac bunt by Molina, followed up by a double from Miles tied the game at 4. A groundout by the Speezer left Miles on third with two outs. It was up to Davey Ecks-O's to win this game. By now, Bob Wickman had a pool of sweat surrounding the pitchers mound. It was as if he were pitching from a moat, and no doubt envisioning how sad he'll be in the locker room--thinking about this loss, eating a couple boxes of Hostess Cupcakes.

But Davey hit a weak grounder to J-Honny Peralta, who decides to test the scooping skills of Victor Martinez at first (yes, he played the 8th and 9th at first, while Shoppach caught...great call Eric Wedge). Whoops! The throw gets away, and the losing streak is over. The celebration begins, and because we lost 8 in a row, the only way to celebrate is to throw the give-away seat cushions onto the field, Hooligan Style!

I could hear WWE announcer Jim Ross yelling, "Dammit! These damn fans are throwing their damn seat cushions on the DAMN FIELD! Good God Almighty!!"

The Cardinals really needed to win in this manner. Comeback, bottom of the ninth, walk-off error. Well, except that last part.

Watching ballgames since the Pujols injury has been pretty boring. Not a lot of excitement. This definitely put a spark in the fans, and hopefully the players too. Even better, Kansas City comes to town looking to donate a few wins to the 'Birds.

Let this be a lesson learned by the two people mentioned at the beginning of this article. You guys suck, and you are not clutch.


Anonymous said...

Were those actually Bennett jerseys or the jersey-shirts? They look like actual jerseys, and that's even worse since you'd have to spend at least 80 bones to pick up a Gary Freakin' Bennett jersey.

Anonymous said...

yup, actual jerseys.

and it was just a stroke of luck that i caught the other guy pointing at them.

also saw a few thome and hafner jerseys around. no out of the ordinary indians jerseys, which disappointed me.

Anonymous said...

I always see a Joel Skinner or Joey Belle jersey around here and there when the tribe are in town.

sir said...

While I may not be clutch, I would like to take this time to point out that I don't get hurt 2 innings into a sandlot game.

Anonymous said...

josh has gotten hurt at about the past 10 softball/baseball events we've had.

he's developing into the ken griffey, jr of the group.

juan gonzalez, geronimo pena, or mike sweeney would also be fitting.

Dallas J. Hawk said...

Gross jersey sighting! I can't believe they did the seat cushion night again. I remember the last time they gave those out after Tom Herr's grand slam off of Jesse Orosco in the 10th they littered the field. Shame on you guys for not going.

sir said...

I disagree with all of those comparisons with Josh. Griffey, Gonzalez and Sweeney were All-Stars at one point in their careers, and Pena was "fast", something that no one will ever confuse Josh for. I think Jimmy Journell is the most apt comparison for Josh.

big sandwich said...

Here's your gross jersey from bonnaroo this year.


Anonymous said...

we should have been informed of that wojo jersey a lot sooner justin. he's really let himself go...

Anonymous said...

Here's a pretty gross game-used jersey on Ebay.


I guess the first part of that gave it away! By 'game used', I'm guessing he wore while doing blow with Pedro Guerrero.