WrestleMania 22 Results: When I'm right, I'm right...When I'm wrong, nevermind

I got 8 out of 11 picks right. Ashton Kutcher has nothing on me, I'm awesome! Let's just have a look at each match and see how I did.

Tag-Team Championship: Champions Kane and Big Show def. Carlito and Chris Masters
First match in, and I got it one wrong, but that doesn't make it right. Cueball and Big Slow retain the belts and will continue to do nothing with them. By next month, no one will even realize there's a tag team title on RAW, and the belts will fade into obscurity. Kinda like the one-legged wrestler that used to be on SmackDown. Remember him? Exactly.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: RVD def. Lashley, Finley, Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, and Ric Flair
I was right, I'm awesome! The Whole F'n Show came through for me. Let's just hope when he "cashes in" it pays off more than it did for Edge. Personally, I thought it would've been great if he'd "cashed in" at the end of the show after the WWE title match with Cena and HHH, but I'm asking for too much I guess.

US Championship: JBL def. Champion Chris Benoit
Wrong again here. JBL snuck away with the win when, and let me make sure I get it right...Benoit reversed the Clothesline from Hell into the Crippler Crossface and JBL reversed that into a sort of Northern Lights pin while using the ropes for leverage (which is cheating, for those who don't know). Never knew the rich white guy had it in him.

Hardcore Match: Edge def. Mick Foley
Holy @#$%!!! Blood, bats, barbed wire, thumbtacks, and a flaming table. The only WWE match I've seen that was more brutal was the infamous Mankind/Undertaker Hell in a Cell. Mick even made Mr. Socko hardcore by wrapping barbed wire around him.

Handicap Match: Booker T and Sharmell VS The Boogeyman
Right again. I'm awesome, yeah you know it. Boogeyman scored the victory with a Baldo Bomb and a mouthful of worms.

Women's Championship: Mickie James def. Champion Trish Stratus
Right again, why am I so kickass? This was a pretty historical match in that it was the first to ever have a finish that involved crotch grabbing and finger licking. Wonder if GLAD will endorse Mickie after what WWE did to them a year or so ago?

Casket Match: Undertaker def. Mark Henry
I was right, but no one cares. Just like no one cared about this match. Utter crap. It was pointless going in. It was pointless during it. And it was pointless afterward. Taker remains undefeated at WrestleMania with his streak at 14-0, but I bet he would've rather ended his career with a loss in a world title match instead of carrying a 400 pound man who lookes like the Predator around the ring.

No Holds Barred Match: Shawn Michaels def. Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon and the entire Spirt Squad
Yes, Shawn single-handedly defeated seven people. And yes, I was right here, too. Shawn had to handcuff Shane to the ring ropes to keep him front interfering, but apparantly the Spirit Sqad members are so fragile that a punch to the face renders them all unconcious until the match's conclusion. After taking a 20-foot elbow drop and Sweet Chin Music, Vince was wheeled to the back still giving Shawn the finger, which means the feud isn't over, which means we still get to see Vince show his ass on television.

World Heavyweight Championship Triple Threat Match: Rey Mysterio def. Rando Orton and Champion Kurt Angle
Right again. This should've been the Main Event, but none of the contenders were Vince's son-in-law. Rey pinned Orton after he and Orton both tapped out to Angle's Ankle Lock, but the ref didn't see it either time. Funny how that works out. This was probably the match of the night, and it's cool to see Rey as World Champ. Even if it's just temporary.

Playboy Pillow Fight: Torrie Wilson def. Candace Michelle
Who won? Torrie? Did anyone care? Both women ended up in their skivvies. Like we haven't seen that before... Not that I'm complaining, though.

WWE Championship: Champion John Cena def. HHH
Wrong here. Big time. In the most jaw-dropped moment in wrestling history, HHH jobbed clean to Cena by tapping out. Yes, Hunter did the job. Clean. Did I mention he lost? At WrestleMania?

So there you have it. WrestleMania 22 is officially in the books, so to speak. And I can say I got to see all of it: Shane getting his faced shoved up Vince's ass, Boogeyman eating worms, the Predator getting locked in a casket, and the first intentional wrestling female-to-female crotch grab in history.


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