This Month in Rasslin'

Some people like wrestling. (Maybe 3 or 4 dozen) And some people hate it. (Everyone else) I’m not sure why so many people hate professional wrestling. Aside from occasionally airing an interview where a man insults an entire race, accuses another man of necrophelia, or suggests that a recently deceased man is currently in Hell, it’s not like the shows ever really hurt anyone.

Well, everyone except the performers themselves who’ve died like Owen Hart, the British Bulldog, the Big Bossman, Curt Hennig, Miss Elizabeth, Hawk, Crash Holly, and several others--all within the last three years, all in their early forties at the oldest.

Lately it seems that THE federation, WWE (formerly WWF) will soon join that toll. Ever since the infamous “InVasion” saga, which were supposed to be a sort of inter-promotional war between WWE and the recently McMahon purchased WCW and ECW, ratings for the weekly shows have been in the toilet. The famed storyline that, as RD Reynolds from Wrestlecrap.com said, everyone wanted to see and then no one wanted to remember, has been something that Vince McMahon still hasn’t recovered from.

Even now, years after the colossal failure, WWE still tries to imitate duel, warring federations by featuring different talent on both shows. The result is a show that sucks and another show that sucks more.

However, there are bright spots here and there. There are a handful of insanely talented guys on the shows: Chris Benoit, Rob Van Dam, Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio, and Edge.

Rey Mysterio recently won the Royal Rumble and earned a main event title shot at WrestleMania, the biggest wrestling show of all (think of it as wrestling’s version of the SuperBowl). So, naturally, he lost that privilege to Randy Orton, a newcomer from St. Louis (sorry, Shaun, I can’t forgive your town for spawning this guy).

Two months ago, Edge won the world title from John Cena and dubbed himself “the Rated R Superstar.” Ratings skyrocketed for the first time in years. So, it only made sense to give the title back to Cena a few weeks later. So at WrestleMania, we have Randy Orton and John Cena, two guys whose abilities in and out of the ring pale in comparison to the names above. And, we all know that Hunter Hearst Helmsley-McMahon (he recently married Vince’s daughter, and yes, he’s always in the main event) will get a title shot at ‘Mania. Oh, and the 50-plus-year-old Undertaker will probably be in on the fun, too.

Oh, did you know that Undertaker is undefeated at WrestleMania? 12-0, I think. Yeah, I didn’t really care, either.

So, I’ll pass on WrestleMania this year. The only Pay-Per-View I plan on checking out this year is the next yearly ECW One Night Stand show.

Now, someone once asked me why I’d write about wrestling if it currently sucks so bad. Well, I’m always hoping that someday things will improve again. I have high hopes for the new federation, NWA: TNA that’s slowly been rising up. Rumor has it they’ll have a weekly Thursday night show on Spike TV within the next month. I hope so. I’ve seen their shows from time to time, and they’re good.