Booty Check

I've been defending the '08 Cardinals as only moderately shitty since spring training, but I must admit that I've had one nagging problem with the squad: They don't give good ass. In years past, I brought binoculars to the game specifically for the purpose of getting a closer look at Scott Rolen's finely sculpted rear view. I've tried to find a suitable replacement butt crush since we shipped Rolen north and brought in the flat-assed Troy Glaus, but I just couldn't get excited about what the team had to offer.

As much as I love Jason LaRue (yeah, you read that right) and admire Yadi, catcher butt isn't my thing. And although many ladies are crazy about Ankiel, the pirate face he makes while batting turns me off so much that I can't look past it to his ass. But then: Enter Joe Mather.

Mmm hmm. Get that wrist well, Joe. I look forward to ogling your ass next season.

1 comment:

The Good Face said...

The whole time I was reading this, I couldn't figure out who wrote it. Imagine my surprise when I learned it was our very own Friend of Ellen!