5.31.2008

Yellowjackets! Know How To Party!

Co-Editor's note: Sir called me last night questioning whether this should run or not. I was kind of alarmed because Sir doesn't get offended by anything, especially his own offensive behavior. After reading this, I didn't think we should publish it, and I too, do not get offended by much. But if I've ever learned anything from Vince McMahon, I think we should at least run something to draw attention to ourselves.

Without further ado, here is the first ever censored article on bertflex.com! The censored parts are blocked out with dashes. Congrats to Sir for this accomplishment! If you'd like to know what Sir actually said, email him and I'm sure he'll tell you in detail.


On the eve of the College World Series, we receive this report out of Atlanta regarding the death of hurler Michael "----" Hutts*


ATLANTA (AP) - Heroin was involved in the death of a Georgia Tech pitcher who died from an accidental drug overdose.

Michael Hutts died from accidental morphine toxicity, according to a report released by the Fulton County medical examiner's office on Friday.

Blood tests were needed to establish which substances Hutts had taken to account for the morphine detected in the autopsy samples.

Hutts' roommate was quoted in the police report as saying the pitcher was visited the night before his death on April 11 by a friend who was known to use heroin.

Heroin is processed from morphine, a naturally occurring substance extracted from the seed pod of certain varieties of poppy plants, according to the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration.



Now I'm not one to make fun of someone's death (that's a lie, I totally am) but ---- ---, -- ---- -- ------. -- ---------- -- -- --- ------- -------- -- ---------- --- -- ----- ------ ------ ---- ------- -- --- ------- -------- ------- ---- ---- --- --- ----- -- - ----- ---------? --------- ---, -- ------- ---- ------ -------, -------- -- ---- --------. ---- ----- ----- --- ------ -- ---- --- ---- ------. --- ---- -- - -------- -- -------- ----...if you die stupidly, I will make fun of you. Ramblin' Wreck, indeed.

I also love that one of the paragraphs of the article gives the D.E.A. description of heroin, in case you weren't aware of that.

* ---- was not his nickname in life, but I find it appropriate for him in death.

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