6.16.2006

Who's Shitty

Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another installment of the "Who's Shitty" fantasy report, your premier source for fantasy baseball opinions. Tony Pellegrino, webmaster and fantasy expert will check the mailbag and answer all your fantasy questions. We have picked five more questions this week, so hopefully yours will get answered. If you're lucky, Tony might call your favorite fantasy player "Shitty," which will automatically make your team even better (see: Pellegrino Curse in the bertflex glossary).

The title of this week's bad-ass picture is:
Tony "Oil Can" Pellegrino.

Ever since I saw this picture, I've been trying to figure out whose mechanics that looks like. I was thinking Jeff Weaver but that's not right. Feel free to make suggestions. I don't think it's Oil Can though Shaun.

See below for information on how to submit your question. We know you need the help.






1. (Compulsive Gambler--Woodson Terrace, MO) Big Ben, JJ Redickulous, and now Esteban Loaiza ...do we need to start a DUI/bad driving pool after we do the death pool?

I am absolutely in for a DUI & drug arrest pool. In fact, maybe we should open it up to a "Charges Filed" pool, with more points awarded for first time offenders than for repeaters. I'm intrigued by this possibility and I think we should throw it around a little bit, work out the rules, etc, and get it going. Time's a-wastin'!

2. (Big Head--Omaha) Nice job on the CWS picks (six of eight). Throw some names my way so I know who to look for. As you're reading this post, I'm probably at Rosenblatt staring at a drenched Erin Andrews. I have a camera, so will send pictures.

Big ups to Shaun for finding an absolutely terrible pic of Erin Andrews. No idea why she's apparently holding a bottle of hair spray on what appears to be the sideline of a Wisconsin Basketball game. A+ Shaun.

For our eyes and ears at Rosenblatt, here's a breakdown by school of famous alumni. I doubt any of these people will actually be there but you never know... (some of these people might be dead, not my fault)
Clemson: Strom Thurmond, Dwight Clark, Kris Benson, Khalil Greene, Fatt LeCroix
GaTech: Jimmy Carter, Jeff Foxworthy, David Duvall, Mark Price, Kevin Brown, Nomar, Mark Tex, Jason Varitek
Fullerton: Kevin Costner, Gwen Stefani, Chad Cordero, Aaron Rowand, Phil Nevin, Mark Kotsay
UNC: Dan Cortese, Lewis Black, Dre Bly, BJ Surhoff, Walt Weiss
Rice: Alberto Gonzalez, Howard Hughes, Lance Berkman, Norm Charlton, Jose Cruz
Georgia: Kim Basinger, Ryan Seacrest, Michael Stipe, Goldberg, Fran Tarkenton, Chip Caray
THE Oregon State University: Gary Payton, A.C. Green, Ken Forsch, Steve Lyons, Brent Barry, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, Steven Jackson
Miami: Dwayne Johnson ("The Rock"), Sly Stallone, Bruce Hornsby, Ray Liotta, Gloria Estefan, Pat Burrell, Danny Graves, a bunch of football players

and Big Head, send me your email address so I can add you as a contributor.

3. (Jeff--LA/Anaheim/Orange Co.) How much is membership into the Ramon Martinez Club?

By the Ramon Martinez Club, I assume you mean the "My Younger Brother is a Better Ballplayer Than Me Club" and I think you've already gained admission with your brother going 4-0 to start his career. Other members of this club are Ken Brett, Mike Maddux, Sandy Alomar, Ken Forsch, JD Drew, and Paul Reuschel, among others. It's a pretty exclusive club so you should be proud to be in it. Your membership card is in the mail.

4. (Josh--The Bar) I don't own Jake Peavy this year, so I technically don't care about the answer to this question: What's wrong with Jake? Is he sucking on purpose because he knows I didn't draft him...twice? He hasn't returned my phone calls, emails, text messages, e-cards, happy-grams, tear filled letters, sky written messages, shouts, the little card that comes with each dozen roses, myspace messages, myspace "private" messages, ads in the USA Today, my ear (thanks for the idea Van Gough), barber shop quartet singing happy-grams, or even acknowledged the fan websites that I've created for him--regular version and adults only version. Do you think he's ducking me?

Josh, I believe that Jakey is suffering from the syndrome known as "Being-on-my-fantasy-team-its." I own him in both leagues, told him before the season started that I didn't really like him, that he's no Roy Oswalt, that he couldn't carry Pedro Martinez' jock, and that he'd better produce or I will murder the entire city of San Diego as pennance for his transgressions. Looking back, I guess my motivational tactics were not as well recieved as I had hoped. I think he needs a change of scenery so this is your chance to trade for him in both leagues. He is available and I know you're interested. I don't think he's ducking you Josh. He told me himself that he was very hurt when you didn't draft him and that he's not sure he can forgive you, but he's willing to try.

5. (Everyone) Dean Dennis Bohnenkamp will be sorely missed Tony. He passed away too soon, and we miss him already. He was a huge influence on all those who ever met him, even for a brief moment. Didn't matter if you had him as a teacher, every exchange with him put a smile on your face. Thanks for your wit and, of course, wisdom Dean Bohnenkamp.

Godspeed, D-Bohn.

If you would like to ask Tony "Who's Shitty?" please send your questions to shaunfanclub@hotmail.com. Tony Pellegrino's advice should be taken with caution, but he has finished in 2nd place in numerous fantasy leagues over the years, so he's kind of an expert, using that term loosely.

6 comments:

hazelwood's most wanted said...

RE: erin andrews

she's holding hairspray? i haven't looked at that part of the picture yet...

Big Head said...

Erin Andrews isn't even in Omaha. It's fat Holly Rowe. I look better in a wet T-shirt. It almost looks like Erin Andrews is holding a whipcream can, so that's even better! Email is mthiel2@cox.net. Going to Rosenblatt tonight for the Miami/OSU game (two Cards picks for the U) and all day Monday and Tuesday for sure.

Big Head said...

Also decideded that with the beard and the mechanics, that the picture is an early picture of former Cub great (oxymoron) and RBI baseball NL pitcher Rick Sutcliffe. That's probably the first time anyone has been compared to a young Rick Sutcliffe, but I'm sticking with it. YIKES. Also, one of my friends that did media relations at Iowa State says Erin Andrews is one of the dumbest people she has ever met. I contend that she should be one of the hottest, but ladies don't look at it that way. Check out the chuckwagons in that picture! DAMN!

big sandwich said...

Erin Andrews is a terrible lay.

sandwich

Big Head said...

what's TP's email? I have a ton of CWS pictures to send.

Big Head said...

What's more of a surprise; David Segui using HGH or the fact that David Segui actually played in 2003 and 2004? David Segui is a mexican version of Jeff Conine.