My Favorite Things For 2008

Rarely do I ever take a page from the Oprah handbook, but I decided to compile a list of my favorite things that have been introduced (or in one case - reintroduced) into my life in 2008. So if you're not on board for any of these yet, I plan on using my immense brainwashing powers to make you like everything I like.

No, you won't see championship belts, Nintendo Wii's, or bobbleheads on this list. Just regular ol' stuff that may be flying under the radar. Until now.

In no particular order, here are my favorite things of the year:

1) Drinkin' Category: (tie) G2 and Raspberry Lemonade Propel
I decided to get the tie out of the way first. Despite Derek Jeter being a spokesman, G2 is fucking delicious. And not to go all wussy on you, it's got less calories than regular G-Rade. As for the Propel, simply put: raspberry lemonade is crack. The Propel packs come in powder form and you mix them with a bottle of water (wow, I'm really going wussy on you). They have rapidly become the official drink mix of the BertFlex World Headquarters. Sir leans towards Kiwi Strawberry or Lemon, probably in an attempt to not get addicted like me.

2) Eatin' Category: Wendy's
A big "welcome back" goes to Wendy's. They came back to the STL area in late 2007, but back then, the lines were so long it took us a month to find an hour to stand around and wait for some Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers. Now a weekly Wendy's trip is always on my agenda. Go support Wendy's. Even if you don't have one close to you, a couple JBC's, chicken nuggets and Frosty is worth the trip.

3) Computernets Category: BaconToday.com
Your average single male blogger would put some kind of porn site in this spot, or maybe a humor/hot chicks blog (two things we ought to feature, but don't). Instead, I'll send you to bacontoday.com, a magical place where we've learned about ALL things bacon, including the Turbaconducken. I would have loved to eaten one of those on Thanksgiving, but mom wasn't having any of it. I thought she loved me, hmm. Anyway, put bacontoday.com in your Google Reader (an honorable mention to my favorite things) or at least be sure to check them out on your daily internet rounds.

4) TV Category: AWA Wrestling on ESPN Classic
Those evil bastards at Charter kept this away from me for the first eight months of the year by not offering ESPN Classic on their expanded basic package, so little did I know what I was missing out on every night at 11pm. Classic shows old AWA Wrestling from 1985-1990, back when ESPN was crappy enough to put pro wrestling on their one and only network. The fun part is this era is considered to be the "downfall of the AWA," seeing how they folded up in 1991. That downfall is passed on to the viewer (me, since I'm the only one watching) as pure golden entertainment. The gimmicks are awesome. The mullets are awesome - literally every person on the air has a mullet. The ring attire is awesome. And most importantly, the production value is off the charts awesome. Take a look at the intro:


I love that shit. Also, for the TV Category I have to give an honorable mention to me laughing at the dirty porn titles on the DirecTV. Blow Me Sandwich 12? Who's the genius that comes up with that, and how many yachts does he own?

5) HMW's Personal Category: Blogging For Money
I was trying to think of a really good #5 here, but what else do I do besides eat, drink, play on the computer and watch tv? I suppose poker could have been thrown in there, but I'm a sellout, what did you expect? Thanks to the fine folks at InsideSTL.com for giving me the opportunity to do that, and I'm assuming they haven't read any of my work since I would have been gone a long time ago. One would assume that sometime soon you'll see listed in their links: "HMW out indefinitely (sucking)." But until that day, I'll bust my ass for them and you. I've said it before: I'm such a sweetheart.

And that money helped me buy lavish things like the laptop I'm writing on, and the championship belt I may or may not be wearing right now...

BertFlex: Officially The Champs

Over the weekend, we made another significant purchase in BertFlex history:


Quit looking at my crotch...it's a championship belt! And not just some crap belt made by some Indonesian kids, this is the real deal (straight outta fuckin' Honduras!). It's a replica of the "Smoking Skull" belt that Stone Cold Steve Austin wore when he was the WWF Champion.

For that fact alone, it is very fitting that this belt belong in our possession. Now all disputes among the group of Flexers can be be decided via title match.

After "winning" the belt over the weekend, I defended it against the Mad Librarian in a heated arm-wrestling match. It was very very close, but I prevailed, putting me at 1-0 in title defenses.

So for anyone interested in taking a shot at the title, I'm here baby. But keep in mind: I'm the champ; I call the shots.

Come get some.

And They Wonder Why America's Youth is Messed Up

Exhibit A:



Although "America's Youth" has technically grown up and is now fucked up enough to think of shit like this and take it out on their kids. What's it say about me that about 66% of me laughed at this video?

A Braggin' Rights Recap, Sort Of

Last night I hit the Busch Braggin' Rights game with a 10-year-old. Before I left, I assessed the possible advantages and disadvantages of this outing.

Advantages: Child is likely to serve as convenient intermediary in case of run-ins with Truman the Tiger, who is a total dick.

Disadvantages: Child is likely to tell his mother if I start the "You're going to get your fuckin' head kicked in" chant, and he cannot legally drive me home if I get wasted.

So a toss-up. We arrived at the game a bit late due to traffic-and-parking related incidents, which means we missed this glorious display of manhood. One of Mizzou's male cheerleaders did catch my eye, though, because he looked like a linebacker he ate a linebacker: fucking beefy. I trust you can pick him out of this lineup.


Anyway, the Illini proceeded to hand Mizzou a 75-59 loss, while Mizzou did its best to rack up 20-something team fouls. Nice job guys. The child and I still had fun watching the game while trash-talking our own team and comparing notes on wrasslin', cards, and our respective time in the U.S. educational system. And then I returned him to his folks, all jacked up on nachos and Cherry Pepsi, 'cause I couldn't make it any longer without dropping the f-bomb.

Oh, also, I got this for Christmas from the child and his family. There are four other Potato Heads and assorted parts inside. It's OK that you are jealous, and if you are nice to me I might let you come over and play Potato Head with me. Maybe. (Wait, does that sound dirty?)

Oh, Sweet Heavens, My Dreams are Coming True

Most of us with clear memories of the '80s do not find ourselves longing for a return to the days of tight-rolled jeans, giant hair, and those tube socks with the colored stripes at the top. But if I could travel back as a 20-something I would, for one reason and one reason alone: Reaganomics.

No, not really. (Sorry, Hack.)

I would, however, happily go back -- via flux capacitor, natch -- for a little face time with The Rockers, particularly Shawn Michaels, who's downright dreamy. If you are not familiar with The Rockers, let me introduce you. And if you find that you don't like them, then we probably can't be friends.



"Napoleon Dynamite" taught me that time machines aren't real, so unfortunately I can't participate in Marty Jannetty's hard-drinking days or break shit with an angry Shawn Michaels. But here's the next best thing: RAW in St. Louis on February 2. It's a taping, which means the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels is likely to be in attendance, along with the jorty John Cena, badass Rey Mysterio, and irritating intercontinental champion Santino Marella. (Yes, TGF, I know you love Marella. Why don't you just marry him?) Marty Jannetty will be busy working third shift at at 7-11 in Iowa.

So February 2. Be there. Or be dead to me.

The Day I Officially Sold Out

Tonight, December 22nd.

Over the summer when I interviewed Brett Wallace, I dropped the InsideSTL name in order to score the interview. At the time Big Head called me a sellout for not using the prestigious BertFlex name to land said interview. It turns out that the powers that be at Quad Cities hadn't heard of either website (very humbling), so it didn't really matter. I took Big Head's comment as playful bro on bro ribbing (whoa, that sounded a lot better in my mind) and life went on.

A couple months later, I decided to move out of the BFHQ-Hazelwood Office and upgrade to a nicer locale in...West County (gasp!). I'll admit that was 99% sellout material, but the move was much needed and no one has complained about the new BFHQ. Win-win for everyone.

That brings me to the present. I needed to stop by the house to help mom out with a computer-related project she was working on. It was about 8:30pm and I had not eaten in a while, so I checked the fridge and found a half pack of hot dogs. Just my luck, eh? Interestingly enough, the hot dogs looked very familiar to me (yes, I have a special relationship with hot dogs, deal with it). I was pretty sure I had eaten the first half of the pack, but that was probably October/November. I checked the expiration date...and it was 20 days ago.

Side note: mom and dad have done a shitty job of cleaning out the fridge without me around to eat everything.

To many of you, this wouldn't be much of a decision. Throw those MF'ers away. And to a few of you, you wouldn't even have hot dogs in your possession anyway, so you people don't understand my dilemma either.

I stood there thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

I started to open the package; thought for another moment.

And in the trash they went.

'Tis be a sad day for me. I don't know if it's the fancy West County lifestyle I live. I don't know if it's a health-conscious thing (wait - I had McDonald's two nights ago so that can't be it). And I don't know if it's a "I got money, I can buy some new hot dogs! I'm a man! I'm 27!" thing.

Whatever it is, I can officially be called a sell-out. I shall still eat hot dogs until my dying day. But they better be fresh. They better be delicious. And they better be the expensive brand.

You're Gonna Love My Post

Our favorite douchey pitchman is back, this time plugging the Slap Chop.

What the hell is the Slap Chop? Check it out, and pay close attention right around the 37 second mark:



There are so many other elements of greatness in this video besides Vince wearing an apron, talking about his nuts ("boring tuna", the rising cost of ice cream toppings in America, the over-the-head swoosh into the sink, Slap Chop = we become skinny?, "tacos, freddy-chinni, linguini, martini, bikini", "just bang it", and the traditional special bonus "cuz we can't do this all day" - thanks Vince).

Oh yeah - once again: why the fuck does he wear a headset?

There's a lot to talk about here. Discuss.

Linx/Stuff/Junk & MS Paint Week in Review

This is like a Fruit Rollup of L/S/J greatness. Not only am I going to provide you with some phenomenal links for your Friday, I'll add a couple Paint masterpieces designed by yers truly along the way.

On Monday, TGF wrote out a bunch of questions in his Baseball Digest Daily article, and pretended like he knew all the answers (you've got the card right there in front of you Trebek!). He's either a showoff or a jerk. Well, we're not answering your questions, you showoff jerk!

Tuesday morning, Hack posted the Jones Big ASS Truck Rental & Storage clip. It seems to be popular with the kids, we're getting a bunch of Google hits off of it.

Also on Tuesday I was clued in to the apparent greatness of Restaurant.com. Evidently you can get gift certificates to restaurants in your area (plug in your zip code - there are ones you've actually heard of), at a discounted price. Also, if you enter the promo code SANTA, you get an extra 80% off! For example, you can get a $25 GC to Mike Shannon's for $2. Seriously: $2. The fine print says Valid with a minimum $35 food purchase. 20% gratuity added to pre-discounted check amount, which is workable. This would be a good cheapskate gift for Christmas.

On Wednesday, my InsideSTL article revealed what shitty awards Albert Pu-jolz will be winning this offseason. Within the article I may or may not have inferred that Chris Duncan starred in a porn entitled Dunc in Your Trunk.

Wednesday night I announced that I'll be writing the screenplay to Dunc in Your Trunk. I figure with some upcoming days off, I could finish the script next week. Then Hollywood can come up and film this bad boy in early January. Edit it by the SuperBowl, send to a distributor, and boom - Valentine's Day gift for your loved one. What girl wouldn't want a fake Crush Drunkan porn on the most romantic day of the year? Things like this make me the best at what I do.

In case you missed it, yesterday the big thing going around was Burger King's new flame-broiled meat-scented body spray, Flame. Check it out here. As Sir pointed out a little before press time, this should have been made into a perfume for women, seeing how guys already smell like meat.

And an Abercrombie-wearing k.u.chebag makes his mark on Mizzourah today.

Dats it. Drink up, be merry. Enjoy yourselves!

Oh, Trust Me, I Believe It's Not Butter

It's no secret that we here at BertFlex like to get fat. We're a sports blog (sort of) with a bacon tag. TGF routinely fantasizes about destroying large pizzas, Sir knows the ins and outs of all-you-can-eat offers across this fair city, and HMW has eaten seven filets mignon in one sitting. Although I've lauded Crisco for its applications during sexy time with Jason LaRue (what?), I'd still cut my pie crust dough with lard if it didn't lead to the awkward conversation where you ask about the secret ingredient in my extra-delicious pies and I tell you it's time to increase your life insurance policy. So yeah, we're fat.

Then imagine my delight when I learned that margarine is illegal in Missouri. Margarine is bullshit. It's science. Seriously, one of my classmates in middle school did her science fair project on various fats used in chocolate-chip cookies, then did blind taste tests. The margarine cookies scored way lower on the deliciousness scale than those made with butter. So there you go: If a randomized control trial -- the gold standard of scientific studies -- at Holman Middle School proved it's true, then it's fucking true.

Unfortunately, my delight turned to horror when I bothered to read the Post-Dispatch article on the butter law and learned that our state officials don't take butter protection seriously:

JEFFERSON CITY -- A southwest Missouri lawmaker wants to decriminalize margarine.

House member Sara Lampe said Tuesday that she plans to file legislation repealing Missouri's butter law, which dates to 1895.

The law restricts the sale, possession or shipment of imitation butter and bans yellow-tinted varieties. Those dealing contraband dairy products can be fined up to $100 and jailed for up to a month.

Lampe, a Springfield Democrat, said the law doesn't make sense anymore.

Enforcement is up to the state Department of Agriculture. And spokeswoman Misti Preston said the butter laws are no longer enforced.

Preston said the regulations likely were created to protect Missouri's dairy industry.

This is the sort of lax regulation that led to the Enron scandal, the 2008 fuel crisis, and the surprisingly poor sales of Nelly's latest album. Not. Acceptable. (Plus there's a war on. And another war on. And a budget shortfall in Missouri. And old people just walking around the state like they own the fucking place. I mean, shouldn't our representatives worry about that stuff instead and leave the butter scuffles to the people?)

Anyway, consider yo'self warned: If you use margarine in front of me, I'm going to taser your ass and perform a citizens' arrest. Don't think I won't.

Alert the St. Louis Zoo

...because the pythons are loose!


Cam Janssen (aka the guy who has four points in 131 career games) was showing off the guns tonight. At least he's racking up the PIMs, giving the Blues the spark they need to finish last in the division again. I smell a top five pick next June.

Despite my negativity, I will continue to support the Blues via my living room, and in person at the all-you-can-eat game March 15th.

Jones Bigass Truck Rental & Storage

As I begin to wade into the home purchasing market after the first of the year, I look around at the collected crap at my apartment and say to myself "What am I going to do with all of this?" I think I have found a solution:

Finally a Serious Movie About Wrestling

What ever happened to Mickey Rourke? Evidently he is staring in a new movie about an aging, has-been wrestler, and it's not about Hulk Hogan. The movie, appropriately titled "The Wrestler" is coming to St. Louis on January 16th. The trailer is below:

One Cowboy Fan Isn't Impressed With Ed Werder

Someone Tell Me How Much Advertising on Chalk Talk Costs

Former BertFlex contributor Hollywood had a little free time earlier and decided to make us a 30-second commercial...



This kind of makes us big time, right? Job well done by Hollywood, we appreciate it.

Email us at haymang@yahoo.com and we'll send him 16,000 other ideas for commercials.

A Special Linx/Stuff/Junk

Yesterday I realized that I hadn't been putting in the award-winning effort for Bert Flex as I normally do (or at least comparable to this past summer, when I had no life).

And once in a while I can generate some good ideas, so I went to work thinking of what I could offer you for this Friday that would be of any value.

I came up with a new feature, that honestly may only last one week: MS Paint Week in Review. I'll leave it up to the loyal Flexers and our advertisers to see if this should continue into the future. Here goes:

-Monday began MLB's Winter Meetings in Las Vegas. Lil' Kenny Rosenthal got all the best rumors. How does he do it?

-On Tuesday, our own Good Face posted another top notch article on Baseball Digest Daily. I enjoyed the little story about TGF trying to get huuuuge off of Andro. Now he just does it with protein bars and celery sticks.

-All week, I've been having nightmares of Tony La Russa trivia questions haunting me at night. Probably should have hid the box of porn a little better. Or maybe make it not so obvious...

-Wednesday morning, my InsideSTL article laid out my expectations from the Cardinals at the Winter Meetings. Not surprisingly, the Cardinals made no moves. They ended up being in a bunch of SP and RP rumors, but didn't pull the trigger on anything. According to reports, they made a late bid on K-Rod, but fell short. Sure.

-Wednesday night, I "fell short" of eating a salad and green beans for dinner, but went with Wendy's junior bacon cheeseburgers and chicken nuggets instead.

-Thursday night, the ML posted a douchebag report on the ShamWow guy. He's really a tool, and I'm glad the Librarian brought the heat.

-And as always, Mizzourah has some k.u.chebags and a variety of other stuff for your perusal on this lovely Friday. Enjoy the weekend.

Douche Bag Report: Vince the ShamWow! Guy Edition

Vince, let’s start with the obvious: You look and sound like an absolute tool. Orange glow, faux hawk, New York(ish) accent, unnecessary headset. Here’s how bad it is: If I saw you in a bar, I would lie in order to get your picture, then mock you on a fourth-rate blog later that night.

Even so, I kind of like you, Vince. You seem like a stand-up fellow, just trying to make $19.99 plus shipping and handling for a living. But then you’re a complete dick to the camera guy. Yeah, he’s following you. I could record your low-budget commercial on my mobile phone, so I’m pretty sure a professional videographer can manage to record you wringing Coke out of a fucking ShamWow.

And Vince, you must be one sloppy motherfucker if you’re spending $20 on paper towels each month. That’s, what, eight rolls if you buy the fancy kind that tears off in thirds? How are you possibly using two rolls of paper towels each week? I’m guessing it’s not something you’d want to tell your mother about, and you’re probably going to go blind.

So let’s recap: looks like a douche, sounds like a douche, acts like a douche, and wastes the world’s precious resources with excessive paper towel usage. Yep, you can officially pop that collar. You following me, ass clown?


P.S. On viewing 7 billion or so of the ShamWow commercial, I noticed the awesome voiceover work (the “ten years”) around 1:25. Enjoy that.

Never Leave Home Without Your Mustache, or Mustache Card

We all know our friends over at the American Mustache Institute are trendsetters. Now they have posted an application on their website to register for a Mustached American Discount Card. With that card, you'll be able to score discounts from all your favorite merchants.

In the St. Louis area, these places are on board:

Fu Manchu
El Scorcho
Boogaloo

Okay, I have no idea what those places are (I think Fu Manchu is a restaurant), nor are those "your favorite merchants" (yet), but I think having an official Mustached American Card would make me at least six or seven times cooler than I already am, so why the hell not? Plus more places may participate, so if I can save 5% at a porn shop and wear a fake mustache, I think that makes me a winner. Sign up here.

Name Dropping

Best name ever. Courtesy of Baseball America, where I got my Rule 5 draft geekism out.

RHP Loek Van Mil, Twins: The 7-foot-1 righthander has shown a fastball up to 97 mph in the past but has a partial ligament tear due after injuring his elbow just prior to the Beijing Olympics. Fellow Dutch national teamer Hainley Statia (Angels) remains the top middle-infield possibility in a thin group of players there.

Holy fuck. Over seven foot, a bad ass three namer of vowels sandwiched between consonants, a 97 mph heater, and the dude is Dutch? And a quick Google search yields this picture: Please Dave Duncan, you know what to do.

Today's "Did You Know?"

Hey guys and girls - did you know Tony La Russa made his Major League Debut at the age of 18?

Or hey - did you know he played with Atlanta for nine fucking games, in between playing for the A's and Cubs? How 'bout that?

Someday you might need to know this shit...and now you know.

(BBRef Link)

BertFlex Face-Off

More insanely awesome hair: totally effed Illinois governor Rod Blagojevic or future All-Star White Sox shortstop Gordon Beckham?

BertFlex Chronicles of Failure: MsChif Edition

Last Friday night, somewhere around 8:02 PM, a classic moment in BertFlex history occurred. It had quite the build-up and is a pretty funny story, probably more so to us than anyone not involved. Either way, here's how it all went down:

In mid-November the ML expressed her desire to see a live wrasslin' show. After some interest in road-trippin' to a WWE house show in Springfield, MO, I threw out the idea of seeing a relatively new organization called Ring of Honor in December (last Friday). It was their first trip to the area, and I already had tickets with former B-Flex contributor Hollywood.

The ML bought some ROH tickets; The Good Face and Sir planned on tagging along. A couple weeks ago TGF put in a request with ROH to get an interview with one of their wrestlers. After failing miserably, I laughed at TGF's lack of importance and decided to step in. I saw MsChif and Daizee Haze (two women) were on the card, and since the ladies love me, I sent a request to both. It was an email request to MsChif and a MySpace message (that's how all the greats line up interviews) to Haze.

We actually scored the interview with MsChif, as seen here last week. We still haven't heard back from Daizee Haze, so you know how high we rank in her life. Though to her credit, I did send that MySpace message posing as The Good Face, so maybe she was creeped out by his reputation and deleted the request.

Next step was sending questions to MsChif, and she replied with some uninspiring answers. Looking back, in the email I sent to her, I said we'd like a short and sweet email interview with her, so maybe she took that literally. I liked the IHOP answer for #1; just wished she would have opened up a little more. Oh well, not a big deal.

So in that interview post and Linx/Stuff/Junk, we plugged the shit out of the ROH show and that we'd be seeing MsChif vs. Daizee Haze Friday night.

Back to that infamous moment, right before the first match got underway, the ROH ring announcer came on to welcome us to the show. He went over a few things, one of which was the cancellation of one particular match. You probably know the rest of the story...

This site reports that she was out with a leg infection and was in the hospital all weekend. We do hope MsChif has a speedy recovery, but the fact that she wasn't able to wrestle in the show is very fitting for us. Just another chapter in the Bible of Failures that we'll eventually write one day.

As for the rest of the show, we saw some guys who looked like Joey Fatone and Screech. Also the ML and Sir learned some new moves to use on each other, and Ken Rosenthal reports they are forming a tag team soon. Oh, and we heard a new chant to use for the next Illini weekend: "You're gonna get your fuck-in head kicked in" (followed by rhythmic clapping). You gotta hear it, it's awesome.

Overall, it was a really fun show, and we have preliminary plans to head back out to C-Ville and see them in March. You should come too.

What? You don't make plans four months ahead of time to see wrasslin? What's wrong with you?

Bacon O'Clock

We haven't had a bacon post in a while, so when I saw this "dish" last week, I thought it was perfect for B'Flex.

RateMyEverything.com needs your help. Someone on that site posted a Cheese Filled Bacon Roll, and they would like you to rate how brilliant it is. I gave it a 10 without trying it, but seriously - bacon and cheese is all you need to make me happy. Here are the results:


A new contest I'd like to announce - if you make this and bring it over to BFHQ, you'll become our friends! You don't want to miss out on that opportunity, so hurry yo' ass up (and don't eat it all on the way over).

This Week in Old-School Wrestling Promos

In our first two installments of TWiOSWP (catchy, isn't it?), we learned the art of public speaking from two of pro wrestling's best mic men, the "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes and "Nature Boy" Ric Flair. These two legends knew how to work a crowd's emotions by skillfully arranging words to form sentences. Some wrestlers, however, didn't even bother with these basic rudiments of rhetoric.

Enter the Ultimate Warrior. Wait, no ... that doesn't sound right. Anyway, what the Ultimate Warrior's interviews lacked in content and coherence, they made up for with lots of yelling, snorting, and a poor understanding of where the camera was at any given moment.  

 

The Ultimate Warrior needed not the normals, but brother coulda used some breathe-right strips.

Bonus: This freak of nature right here is just beginning to swell.

Linx/Stuff/Junk

It's another light week for LSJ, mainly due to my busy blogger lifestyle. It's not my fault I'm in such high demand.

-This week's InsideSTL article, where I list out my generous Hall of Fame ballot. There is a legendary David Cone fart story in there that I ought to tell more often. And Big Head has gone one week without making a Josh Hancock joke, so bully for him.

-Mizzourah is still in some pain from the kU loss, but that won't get in the way of making fun of k.u.chebags again, or looking forward to the Big XII title game (Saturday at 7 on ABC).

-And in case you didn't catch this tidbit in the MsChif interview, we'll be at a wrasslin' show tonight in C-Ville. We'll give you a recap of the festivities tomorrow. Afterwards we'll probably stop by Applebee's and I'll try to shoot myself in the leg.

Tye Hill: Just Happy to be Here

I had a real busy night, enough so that I was perusing a Rams article in today's Post-Dispatch. Let's check in on the status of draft bust Tye Hill (he's the one pictured to the left, not named "Smith"):

"I don't know what the time frame is on him," Haslett replied. "It's been a long time already."

Nobody realizes that more than Hill, who has missed eight games this year after being limited to eight last season because of injuries. "Two years like this ... what can you say? At least I can say I made it to the league," Hill said.

That's what the Rams have come to - taking pride in making the National Football League, and that's good enough. Thanks Tye, you've done much more than Jay Cutler ever would have done for us.

An Interview with MsChif

In case you're not closely connected to the big happenings here at BertFlex, we are making a trip over to the East Side on Friday night! Unfortunately for you pervs, it's not what you're thinking. We're heading to Collinsville to catch the Ring of Honor wrestling show.

It is ROH's first time in the STL area, and the promotion has produced some of the best young wrestling talent out there today. You won't see many Zubaz-wearing, mullet-flowing, flabby wrasslers of the late 80's there on Friday; ROH will produce a strong show, with less douchebaggery (until we show up).

As a preview to the show, I did a quick hits email interview with one of the women we'll be seeing there - MsChif. I've seen her a few times when Gateway Championship Wrestling was around. She'll be wrestling another former GCW star Daizee Haze, and it should be a really good match for the SHIMMER title.

For a little background on MsChif, check her Wikipedia page (all the top bloggers use that for research) or this article from SLAM! Sports, or just go straight to MsChif.net for a lot more.

Here's what we've got:

1) I'm not sure if you grew up here, so I've got a couple options for this first one: the standard St. Louis question - where did you go to high school? Or - how long have you lived in the St. Louis area? Also, trying not to sound creepy, but what are your favorite things to do/places to go/eat/hang out around town?

St. Louis? What? Hey, I live in the Inferno man. IHOP! Yes, IHOP exists in the Inferno.

2) I asked a few of our contributors if they had any questions that they would like to be answered. One of them wants to know if you're single? The "creepy" factor is off the charts now, but for the sake of my blogger journalism excellence, I have to ask the tough questions...

Taken.

3) When did you start watching wrestling? Who were your favorites growing up?

Too young to recall. I always liked Bruiser Brody, Superfly Jimmy Snuka, The Rockers, Rock n Roll Express, Legion of Doom....

4) In regards to women's wrestling in the US, do you think ROH and SHIMMER are making a significant impact to combat the "pillow-fighting diva" image so many people have?

Hell yes, as long as people take the time to watch both promotions!

5) Most (not all) of us at the 'Flex are reasonably intelligent and recognize the line between work and shoot. Do you encounter fans (adults) who take pro wrestling a little too seriously? If so, how do you handle the situation?

Fortunately, not really. I hope it remains that way.

6) Who is a wrestler (male or female) at any level that you'd like to wrestle against?

Good Question...

7) What's the most inventive weapon you've ever used during a match? What would you like to use but haven't gotten the chance yet?

Green Mist!! :) A spiked vest? Really I don't dream of using weapons. Not usually necessary.

8) We know you're a tough girl and all, but we're still going to make you choose between "Dirty Dancing" and "Steel Magnolias" for best chick movie ever.

Oh come on!! Give me horror movies!! I've never even seen Steel Magnolias.

9) How badly will Daizee Haze get her ass kicked this Friday at the show?

As much as it takes to keep the SHIMMER title.

Thanks again to MsChif and we'll see her Friday! For more info on the ROH show, click here

EA Sports Softball '09 - Coming Soon!

JoeSportsFan.com brings it strong with this video:


Unfortunately, this isn't a real game. Those bastards got my hopes up. Even worse, it kind of hits close to home seeing some of those Softball Guy mannerisms.